Now I'm Feeling Much Better About Sestak

The Sestak saga has finally come to an end. President Obama has completely and satisfactorily explained all the confusion surrounding a supposed job offer to Congressman Sestak in return for dropping out and allowing Arlen Spector to win in Pennsylvania’s Senatorial primary. It turns out that Sestak was not really offered a “job” but instead only participated in a phone call with Bill Clinton, in which they discussed an honorary advisor seat on some obscure economic committee. Now that former President Clinton is involved, I’m feeling much better about this whole thing. I know if Bill Clinton looks me in the eye and says something is true, it’s true. End of story.

It makes complete sense to me. Why would any politician want to endure the pressures of being in office anyway, with all those pesky constituents holding their feet to the fire and chewing them up in town hall meetings. Not to mention constantly worrying about being re-elected year after year while trying to support an increasingly arbitrary, capricious and unpopular administration. In fact, I have done some research and it appears that Sestak is only one of many politicians who are seriously considering White House “job” offers in lieu of their service in Congress.

A potential challenger to Nevada’s Senator Harry Reid is weighing an offer to be Director of the “Miss A-bomb” search committee in Rachel Nevada. This is a pageant started in 1951 that awards a $227 scholarship to the local high school girl who is deemed to posses the most explosive personality. I understand they are holding that one open for Harry just in case he loses.

In Arkansas, Blanche Lincoln’s Democratic opponent has discussed the possibility of directing 4H livestock competition at the Arkansas State Fair and allowing Clinton favorite, Lincoln to cruise to victory. That position seems ironically appropriate to me, after all who would know more about bull and pork?

In Washington State, a highly popular contender for Senator Patty Murray’s seat has been offered the much sought after and prestigious weekend position of manning the apple maggot inspection station in Twisp. There is no way you could pass that up just to unseat Murray.

I don’t know how I could ever have doubted that the Sestak issue was all legitimate and above board. With its proven level of transparency, there is no way this Administration would try to manipulate an election…or the economy…or an industry…or the American people. No way. Bill Clinton’s involvement isn’t much of a surprise either, considering his long lunch with President Obama earlier this week. The only question is: what is the political pay back for being Obama’s bag man? Will Hillary replace Biden on the ticket in 2012, or perhaps Obama has yet another fabulous job offer in mind for her, like Ambassador to Saturn? It’s hard to say at this point which Mr. Clinton might prefer.

Originally posted on 05/29/2010 at ConservativeCompass.com