Die Hippie, Die: South Park Took Down #OWS, YEARS AGO!

My goodness. Before the 2008 elections, I used to be a moderate Republican. I look back on those years and think to myself: What was I smoking?

But I digress.

I was hoping for a Occupy Wall Street episode from South Park the other week. I was disappointed when they did not do so. I mean, there is a lot there they can make fun of here. I could create an entire season of episodes based off of Occupy Wall Street and the dirty hippies that are there. The Drum Circles, filty tent living, drug use, railing agaisnt corperations (but not doing much to stop them), and the commune living that would evolved into an actual society if given enough time.

Oh wait, they already did all of that in Die Hippie, Die.

We all love to hate Cartman. If you don’t hate him, then you haven’t been paying attention to his character. His only redeemable character trait is that he’s a capitalist. It normally overrides his other lazy, spoiled, and racist’s traits. However to the casual watcher of the show, Cartman is a completely unsympathetic even if he is one of the four lead characters.

In “Die Hippie, Die”, Cartman starts off as a kind of ‘Hippie Pest Control’ and realizes they are about to start a music festival in South Park. His attempts to warn the town go unheard and he is even arrested when 63 hippies are found locked in his basement. Of course Kyle, Stan, and Kenny are seduce and become hippies themselves. The mayor is behind this music festival.

The festival quickly spins out of control, drawing more hippies than ever before into one place. Soon the town people seek advice from Cartman on how to rid of the massive hippie group. Kyle, Stan, and Kenny finally realize that the hippies are full of themselves and just want to get high and listen to music.

South Park builds a giant drill (called “Hippie Digger”) and bores though the mass of hippies. They upload death metal into the stage and the hippies disperse, saving the other kids and South Park.

My friends, replace “music festival” with “Occupy Wall Street” and you pretty much have your South Park Occupy Wall Street episode. Everything from the drum circles to the town mayor embracing the hippies.

In fact, South Park has pretty much written the end game for us: Death Metal!

Police Departments need to pack their sound systems with death metal music and blast the public squares where the dirty hippies are squatting for a couple of days. That will clear them out.