Tiger's Biggest Mistake - Not Being a Liberal Democrat

Tiger Woods made a big mistake.  No, I’m not talking about his serial infidelity although that was pretty big.  His biggest mistake was declaring himself politically as an Independent instead of a liberal Democrat.  If he had registered as a Democrat and been active in support of liberal politics all of his sexual escapades would have been a mere blip in his rearview mirror.  Liberals would have risen to his defense all over the country no matter what his offense.

The Bill Clinton supporters would have screamed that his sexual proclivities had nothing to do with his job and any criticism would have been labeled as a witch hunt by the “right wing conspiracy”.  Obviously his actions have not affected his job and he only lied about sex, the story would go.  Remember?

Hollywood would have quickly come to Woods’ defense with the “everybody does it!” claim.  After all, Hollywood even defends Roman Polanski’s rape of a thirteen year old girl.  A liberal producer would likley have made a movie depicting Tiger Woods as an abused husband driven to infidelity.  Once you convince the ignorant and gullible, it’s all downhill from there.

Barney Frank, Democrat Congressman, would have defended Woods.  Frank’s live-in partner operated a homosexual brothel out of the congressman’s apartment on capital hill and his most recent partner got caught growing marijuana in their apartment.  Frank is still part of the Democrat leadership in congress.  Barney Frank and Democrats would be sympathetic to Tiger Woods for such a small moral lapse.  And Frank is still in charge of managing our mortgage crisis that he himself was responsible for.  I’m sure he would have pleaded for redemption if Tiger Woods had only been on board with the liberal agenda.  And the rest of the Democrats in the House would have followed along with their support like they have done for Barney Frank.

Gary Studds, Democrat Congressman, had a homosexual affair with an underage intern.  He eventually retired amidst a standing ovation in the House of Representatives.  That’s the kind of support tiger could have depended upon if he would have gotten better advice and been persuaded to be a liberal Democrat.

If Tiger Woods would have been a public voice for affirmative action and funneled some significant dollars to the Rainbow Coalition then Jesse Jackson would have been in front of a camera claiming any criticism of Woods was racism and accusing any corporation dropping Woods’ sponsorship of crimes against blacks.  And, of course, the accusation of racism would have trumped all other political correctness terms so an immediate zone of protection would have sprang up around Tiger Woods.  Even Rev. Sharpston has shown no interest in Tiger Woods’ defense. (Must have been too much going on at the church, I guess.).  If in addition to being a liberal Democrat Tiger had also become a Muslim convert, then he could have likely gone back to golf next week with Louis Farrakan’s blessing and the Black Panther party at his side in case anyone in the crowd hollered insults.

And if only Congressman Jefferson, Democrat Louisiana, was not in prison for storing $75,000 of marked bribery money in his freezer he would have come to the defense of Tiger Woods.  And he could have brought along all of the Democrats in congress that allowed him to stay in congress and remain on his committees until he went to jail.  The Congressional Black Caucus would have likely held a news conference showing support for Tiger Woods; sort of like they did for Fidel Castro.  But they’re not going to do that for an Independent.  Tiger should have known the only thing that separates liberals from supporting other liberals is prison bars.  And that’s not a standing rule!

With all of this millions Tiger Woods, as a good liberal Democrat, could have supported ACORN and they would have sent a couple of bus loads of demonstrators to each of his corporate sponsors threatning to disrupt their businesses if they dropped Woods as a client.  ACORN partners in crime SEIU would have been happy to help out.  Didn’t Tiger Woods see how well that worked when ACORN teamed with Democrats in congress and intimidated banks into making loans to those who could not qualify?  And ACORN could have even helped Tiger Woods get some underage sex by assisting in bringing in 15 year-old prostitutes like they wanted to do in an undercover video sting operation.  What was Tiger thinking?!  All Woods would have had to do was pressure Democrats in congress to continue giving ACORN our tax money.  Even President Obama, a big ACORN supporter and fefender, may have offered a helping hand.

But the biggest mistake Tiger Woods made by not being a liberal Democrat supporting all the politically correct issues, is the cover he could have received from the liberal media.  It takes care of its own and any celebrity known to help further the liberal agenda will be rewarded with positive news coverage (or, their favorite, not reporting bad news at all).  Woods could have suggested that he also engaged in some homosexual affairs and many media sources would not have reported it at all.  The New York Times would likely have used the story to justify gay marriage but most media would have made it a one-day story for fear it would damage the homosexual agenda.

Yes, Tiger Woods made a huge mistake.  I know he intended to play down his ethnicity and politics and stay out of any controversy but he simply did not understand the kind of power he could have tapped into should he find himself in this kind of situation.  A black, liberal, Democrat, homosexual, celebrity, with Muslim associations would have made him virtually untouchable; literally bullet proof.  I guess you can give him credit for having the good sense not to claim he was a conservative Christian Republican.

They say this may cost tiger Woods as much as $200 million.  If he has a hard time turning this around then he might consider running for office as a liberal Democrat.  With his uncanny ability to hide the truth his election would be a good fit.  And he would have a lifetime position, remain a multimillionaire, have the best retirement and health care in the country and he wouldn’t even have to change his lifestyle.