Applying for a research grant to study FUBAR

In an effort to recapture the taxes I have paid and the ones I will have to pay, I have decided to apply for a federal grant. I plan on researching FUBAR (Feeling Under appreciated By American Reprobates). I will request a grant for $100K recurring indefinitely because it is a long-term study. If you would like to participate in the study please notify your elected representative that this study is of utmost importance and to approve my grant.