Just Sign On the Dotted Line

So glad to see you Mr. American, just sign here on the dotted line; don’t worry, we’ll fill in the pertinent details later.  Yep, this contract is what we call an eggshell or skeleton, but not to worry by next week we’ll be sending you a payment book.  Sorry we haven’t stayed in touch much the past year, but we were too darn busy spreading your stimulus monies.

Don’t worry Mr. American; jobs are just around the corner and we’re so sorry to hear that millions more homes are being foreclosed – but what can we say, promises are made to be broken. HA! HA!  We do want to thank you for our 2 ml “PARTY PARTY” in Copenhagen, great flight and the food and wine was to die for…

Before I forget it, the House Speaker (Queenie) wants to thank you for taking care of her pet mouse and your gracious contribution for swine and manure management – that takes a real American to help those little ole piggies out!  By the way, with your help we don’t have to worry about taxie service anymore, or the darn fruit flies and wildflowers.  Don’t want to brag, but did you know our little piggy grew to 19.9 billion dollars in 2009.

Sure 2009 was a little rough and bumpy and we understand where you’re coming from; like Hillary Clinton said on 60 Minutes, “The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be something they’re not.”  Mr. American, we’ve never pretended when we said we’re here to “Spread the Wealth,” just wait until you see what we’re gonna spread in 2010.  Thanks again, Mr. American – talk at you later when we need your signature on the dotted line.

May God Bless America

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