Diary

The Untranquilized Life

Making friends, telling them personal enigmas and mysteries about yourself, I don’t find hard to do. It’s when you pass that unsedated line. That line that crosses into the More Serious. That area in life I call the Untranquilized Life.

You see, here the rose colored glasses are casted off. You started with them with some conversation and knowing you had them on, you hated every second of it. You put them on to test the water, reasonable. Then they remain on because you are around someone who’s whole identity is in those glasses. There in the tranquilized life it’s a selfish, upside down world.

No one takes anything seriously in the tranquilized life. Ignorance is bliss. There they haven’t a care in the world, terrorist are no more real than unicorns playing poker. Everyone looks great! Drinking, drugs, and copulating are all that really matter. Those who care are school marms and no fun. We don’t know how to live because living is acting like nothing else is going on in the world. Don’t you understand!? nothing else is important, and nothing is a way of life. Sure we have jobs and school work to do, I think I’m important, but we don’t actually have any meaning at all, it’s all relative. If you try to change my mind I’ll scream! Call you mean and not nice. Everyone is Meryl Streep in Adaptation. Woody Allen in Stardust Memories.

I don’t have many friends. The very few that I have are very dear to me. The rest are acquaintances. Now before you start feeling sorry for me, don’t waste your time, this is a personal choice. The beliefs you and I have chosen to follow and the way of life we chose to live doesn’t leave you in the end with such an open mind. Of course we are more open-minded then our Leftist counter parts. Peter Kreeft says “An open mind exists to be shut around an idea that is true.” Their whole way of life is about Openness (read the beginning of  Allan Bloom’s Closing of the American Mind).

It’s hard to make friends these days. Especially in my age where you think maturity would have made its mark already; you have been real world bitched slapped and it’s time to stop playing in a punk band and become a productive member of society. We are rapidly in a state of decline. It seems the older and older one gets this perpetual dearth happens, you are more unwise, and remain in a high school mentality (armpit farts and snickering in the back of the classroom, sigh. Those were the days).

This comes from an overwhelming despair brought on by a culture that doesn’t know how to make up its mind. A culture that changes the meaning of words so the feelings of another culture aren’t hurt. We are the men and women of vice.

Has everything turned grey? Not the way you might be thinking. You see us conservatives are the one’s labeled as “seeing the world in black and white.” But I don’t entirely adhere to that presumption. Of course we have a black and white view on moral authority and natural law, applied to society of course it can get grey. It is the Left who see the world entirely in black and white.

For example: You disagree with the president; you are racist ma’am! you are racist! You disagree with any feminist or any liberal women; you are sexist. You don’t believe in same-sex marriage; You are homophobic. Etc etc…

Okay, I went on a tangent. But the point still remains; we are disconnected from a culture that is so powerfully influential in the anti-Everything Conservative. Conservatives find themselves to be so on edge, alone, desperate, and unheard.

Like Diane Wiest in Parenthood, except in this case the daughter will never learn no matter how much we love them or care for them or listen to them.

I can’t make close relationships happen because most of the time I don’t want to make them happen! I have kind of given up on that. I have the few friends that are willing to listen to my diatribes and fire back with questions and insight. I have a great wife who listens and is quite the firebrand herself. I’m not so uncompromising, I am human, but there comes a time when BS needs to go away.

Live in the Untranquilized Life, it’s more fulfilling. It doesn’t make you better than people, it only makes you figure out ways to better yourself.

Fellow conservatives, it’s getting to a point where trying to make friends with Leftists is only going to blind you from your ultimate duty. We are hopeless romantics, I get that. Every day I have to look at my Instagram and watch how an acquaintance of mine spread murals of Leftist anti-colonial and environmental propaganda all over the San Fernando valley. Because we are tolerant and afraid, we not able to combat the critique given by Leftists, we are stonewalled by ourselves.

As Dennis Prager has said, “It’s the DNA of conservatives not to fight. I have never understood why that is.”

Let them live in the Tranquilized Life! We have the upper hand! We know the truth!