On Being Trash

Having been born and raised a Southerner, the worst insult you could have hurled at my family would have been to call us white trash. By strictly Southern definitions, we were anything but “trash.” We were old family, old land, old position Southerners; that ain’t trash. That said, we didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of; most of the trash and even lots of the Blacks, though we didn’t refer to them that way at the time, lived better. It was all a matter of perceived social position, how you ranked with the people who annointed themselves to do the ranking.

It isn’t a uniquely Southern thing either. Ben Stevens, Senator Ted’s illustrious son, once referred to people from the Matanuska Valley, Sarah’s stomping grounds, as Valley Trash. Which brings me to the point of this thing.

Boston, New Yawk, DC, and LA are the only civilized places in America. If you live anywhere else, you’re trash. Sarah got criticized because she didn’t have an Ivy League education, but it really wouldn’t have mattered if she’d gone to Hahvud; since she lived in Wasilla, Alaska, she’s trash. Almost all of you are trash. Learn it, live it, love it; you’re trash.

Somebody posted something a few days ago from some English prick carrying on about Sarah being anti-intellectual and hating city-dwellers and how bad that was. Well, I think the English are generally a bunch of degenerates, but be that as it may. I think Southern white trash like me and Valley Trash like Sarah Palin do share some things. We’re not anti-intellectual; we’re anti self-annointed, self-righteous, arrogant pricks who consider themselves superior to the rest of us. We’re not anti- city dwellers; we’re anti- the people who think that the only civilized life in America is in the big cities.

Get yourself one of those electoral maps with the Red and Blue states. If you live in the Red “L,” you’re trash. Intermountain West, Great Plains, The South, our fellow Americans are superior to us. We’re the trash from flyover country. Embrace it!