Democrats are just plain bored with pretending to be hopey-changey aisle-spanners. It’s dull. So to occupy that awful dead time between leg-tingling Obama speeches, they’ve decided to launch yet another attack on a private citizen for the crime of having the wrong political persuasion. It’s just the latest salvo in President Obama’s national-security-critical
“Shut up, America” strategy.
This time, the Dems are putting the dis back in “crushing dissent” with a new effort to place a billboard near Rush Limbaugh’s home. Who says political parties aren’t cool? Oh, right… that was me.
(By the Way, the Slogans are IN! Get pumped up now because they’ll be in THIS VERY article below the fold!)
You know, you gotta admire the reset button on Democrats … In left-land, on November 3rd dissent was the highest form of patriotism, now paying more taxes holds the top spot. Nifty.
I’m not surprised. “Shut up, America” has been doing very well with the left’s pundits, writers, reporters, bloggers, and Open Letters (from a former writer). They’ve reveled in the Blame Rush phase with a madding snark more baleful than Christian Bale talking light fixtures.
I can only imagine the frenzy of profanity-laced suggestions the DNC was bombarded with. It would be fascinating to find out how many identical suggestions for a sign that says “F*** YOU RUSH” were actually submitted. I’m guessing they comprised about twenty percent. And of course, being more single-minded than Obama at an arugula clearance sale, the blog wing certainly assured at least a density of around 35% of the total that say something about George Bush. “DUBYA LIED PEEPLE DIED!!!” (Don’t forget, the votes are in … keep reading!)
Still, in keeping with their methodology for assigning delegates, they’ve ignored the will of the people and gone less bloggy, less profane, and less “not completely lame”. From the DNC email:
Last week, I asked if you had a message you’d like to send Rush Limbaugh. The response was overwhelming. We received tens of thousands of submissions, and we picked the top five:
[Editor’s Note: top five redacted to build excitement factor … stop chewing your fingernails and keep reading!]
Now, we’re putting it up for a vote. Decide which slogan Rush will see in his home town.
The slogan with the most votes will be put on a billboard where Rush can’t miss it.
It’s up to you to let Rush know that Americans reject his desire to see President Obama — and our country — fail.
Vote for your favorite slogan now:
Jen O’Malley Dillon
Democratic National Committee
Awesome. Jen is so proud. And why shouldn’t she be? The idea that the power of the Democrat party can be brought to bear in an attempt to use public shaming and government pressure to tell a private citizen to shut the aych up … well Jen, that’s some hopey change so hopey I think I got some unicorn stuck in my teeth! How is the excitement factor doing? You getting pumped up?
Okay okay, I’m getting all Ryan Seacrest on you (yeah, I make pop culture references. Take that, gravitas). So, without further ado, I proudly present the product you get when you put a “tens of thousands” of Democrats in a room and give them keyboards, which I believe they call …
The List Of Slogans Which We Swear Are Cool And Not Completely Lame and Which Jen is Super Pumped About, For REAL Y’all! – by The Democrats
… but which we here will refer to in shorthand as “Move Over Are You Gellin?”.
Ok, ok, just kidding. Here we go …
Ha ha ha! See what they did there? It’s his name! Rush! Plus FAIL! You know, because of the fail thing? Sweet! This one took the snark top spot, just beating out “You, sir, are the most unfathomably evil force ever to infest this universe, sir. A nazi would be ashamed to call you his ally, sir” which was submitted a staggering 1872 times from a mysterious emailer known only by the alias “mspreciousperfect”.
THE APTLY NAMED NUMBER TWO!
Hope Change! Rush! ‘d! It’s so internetty and 2008y I half expect to see dramatic chipmunk on the sign. Incidentally, this one grabbed the number two spot from:
You know. Come to think of it, I’d have voted for that one.
THIS IS THE THIRD SIGN.
As the Church of Bender (Reformed) might say: mmmm, functional. This one just barely edged out “We do not care for your way of thinking, Mr. Limbaugh, not in the least.” Still, sometimes functional is better than what often happens when government tries to be cute.
Ha ha! Rush! Cause his name is like rushing! So don’t Rush it!!! Yeah this one doesn’t run counter to the THE SKY IS FALLING PASS THE STIMULUS NOW OR WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!1!!11!!! message of the party at all. Maybe they’ll put a subhead: “Seriously though, do rush it. I was just kidding before about the don’t rush it thing. The capital letter is a dead giveaway if you really think about it.”
NUMBER FIVE IS ALIVE with awesome:
So Rush is the one saying say yes to America? Isn’t that how the whole colon thing works? Let me just get this straight. A giant billboard. A partial profile of Rush Limbaugh on one side, on the other, his name is in giant letters. RUSH. and there’s a colon. Say yes to America! End of sign. You’re driving down the road, what is the message you get?
Here let me give an analogy for our democrat friends. While you’ve been practicing sprinkling British colloquialisms into casual conversation, a special interest women’s rights group has decided they are tired of the way a certain someone, recently demoted from sacred cow, treats the women in his life. They’ve been bombarding this person with phone calls and emails, generally making his life unpleasant and now, they’ve decided to put up a sign admonishing him. As it says on your business card, Christmas cards, email signature and voicemail, you live near the Clintons. So, you’re driving down the road singing along to Britney and sipping latte from your ACLU mug, just thinking about what it would be like if you and Barack were best friends. How you’d wear matching shoes every day and pinky swear everything, and up ahead you notice a billboard.
Just you think about that. (… and when you do think of bill in quotes. “Bill”board. In keeping with the usage of Rush in the other signs.)
So, anway, look Redstaters. I encourage you to go vote. Unlike everyday workers in their workplace, Democrats still think internet voters have a right to a secret ballot, so it will be between you and Jen. So go, vote for whatever you think we can annoy them with the most. Annoying the Democrats is number eight on my list of very most favoritest things, right behind bacon and ahead of twisting my pencil-thin moustache while evilly chuckling over having kidnapped Penelope Pureheart, and I have no doubt it’s the same for you. Make me proud.
Because, in the end, what Obama and his minions are really trying to say to Rush, and conservatives, and Christians, and, you know, about half the country, is: