Diary

Top Ten Unexpected Changes In An Obama Presidency: Open Thread

I stumbled across a funny video at Southern Appeal today, which I like to call the Hope and Change rap battle. (Content Warning):

I just have to wonder, is this what rap battles are going to look like under the cosmic reign of "The One"? It got me thinking, what are the things that you think might be fundamentally altered by the upcoming Global Harmonic Convergence? (That’s how I refer to the impending inaugugasm). No more sagging chads or pants? No more mimes? What are going to be the consequences and side effects of all this loose change? Submit yours in the comments.

First, though, my own:

    Top Ten Unexpected Changes In An Obama Presidency

    10.  We experience a global resurgence in the popularity of bowling. Can’t you just picture pop tart celebrities and paparazzi at bowling alleys trying to beat Obama’s 37? Or the Enquirer reporting on Tom Cruise’s secret underground cult alley?

    9. People say nuclear instead of nucular. That’s not really a joke, I’ve dreamed often of the day. Status unknown on "foilage" for "foliage" and "realator" for "realtor". Still, we can hope.

    8. Crazy pastors become the "in" thing. The crazier the better. Churches start recruiting wandering bums who claim to have conversations with God. Sunday morning television is full of rants about who ate the chewing gum, and why you shouldn’t trust that leprechaun.

    7. Chris Matthews legally changes his name to Chris Hussein "Lusty" Obamaman and wears only dashikis. (But his friends still call him “Tingle”.)

    6.  Even in a failing economy, thousands of new jobs are created in the bunker and bomb shelter sector.

    5. Being a Community Organizer becomes a real thing. Definitely didn’t see that one coming.

    4. Actor Daniel Baldwin moves to California in protest, having confused California with Canada, Canada with France, and himself with his brother Stephen. Man, he really is the worst Baldwin isn’t he?

    3. Puerto Rico, Guam, American Samoa, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Canada, Gitmo, and the moon landing site are made states. NOW 57 is correct.
    Mexico texts Obama "WTF?"

    2. John Kerry moves to France. I don’t really have a reason why Obama’s presidency would precipitate this, I’m just fantasizing here.

    1. Water now goes down the drain clockwise instead of counterclockwise.

         … Beats me. I told you these things were unexpected!

Okay hit me with your best shot. Political Machine’s Tommy Christopher starts things off with his emailed suggestion: "A sharp uptick in erudite rednecks, now unafraid to show off their smarts at barbecues and NASCAR races.  "You know, Clem, it’s the Maillard reaction that makes that steak so tasty."

Ok, have at it! OPEN THREAD