Welcome Aboard the U.S.S. Conservative, Romney-Come-Lately, but...

Dear Mr. Romney: You are a man of impressive talents.  You have used those talents to make an impressive and honorable fortune.   And with that wealth, you successfully became the governor of one of the fifty states in our Union and have launched an impressive campaign for President. Congratulations!

Until very recently, you and I have differed politically.  You have favored reforming our healthcare system so that individuals are forced to do business with a private insurance company.You once proposed such a program nationally, and adopted such a program in your home state. I strongly oppose such measures. You once repudiated the Reagan era.  I believe Reagan was the best President in our lifetime. You once sponsored a gay pride march in Boston.  I despise such marches, as they notoriously, prominently, and crudely mock my religion. You once favored legalized abortion.  I believe abortion is homicide, and that its targets, the unborn, are entitled to legal protection.  You once favored governmental funding of abortions.  Obviously I do not. You once donated to Planned Parenthood, the largest abortion-providing and promoting organization in the nation.  I donate to small pro-life, crisis-pregnancy centers, which Planned Parenthood seeks to close, and which, seek to close Planned Parenthood. You see, my opinions are roughly similar to those of many other Americans who call themselves “conservative.”

Recently, you’ve converted in all of these, and many other respects.  I am delighted.  We conservatives could use all the help we can get.  Would that more of the wealthy elite in our country would do so. In other words, Welcome Aboard the U.S.S. Conservative.  We can use you.

But there’s a slight problem.  At the very same time that you got on board the ship you proposed that you become captain of the ship.  While I do not wish to suggest that there was some connection between your aspiration to lead us and your conversion to our cause, I do think that prudence suggests that we not make you our captain.

I think I speak for many of the crew. In the words of our late captain of fond memory, we will “trust buy verify.”  We’d like you to get some experience on our ship, of fellowship with us.  In particular, we’d love to see you weather some storms with us–to take some personal or political risk with us before we entrust you with command.  We can’t help but notice that your conversion seems perfectly timed to facilitate your personal political interests.  You’ve never run as a conservative when it was difficult, when it cost you anything.  Couldn’t you run for statewide office first, say your home state, under our banner?

You must admit that you’re something of a “Romney-Come-Lately.”  The new kid in town.  The whole establishment loves you.  But some of us are feeling, well, a bit let down. Accordingly,  I welcome you on board, yet I must respectfully decline your invitation to elevate you to captain this year.