Who knew that all it would take was a man live-streaming himself taking a dump in her driveway?

Nancy Pelosi, after months of pandering or outright ignoring the issue, has finally come out against rioting, looting, and violence. She took to the House floor to give her typical partisan diatribe, but what was included was a pretty pointed denouncement of the behavior we’ve been seeing in American cities since early summer.

Speaker Pelosi: "We support peaceful demonstrations. We participate in them. They are part of the essence of our democracy. That does not include looting, starting fires, or rioting. They should be prosecuted. That is lawlessness." pic.twitter.com/Xq89RLR70f

— The Hill (@thehill) September 17, 2020

This is about as real as her attempt at crying on live TV the other day (see Pelosi Awkwardly Tries to Cry During Live Interview). If you truly believe what’s going on is wrong, you don’t wait nearly four months to speak against it. You also don’t spend most of those four months blaming Donald Trump and coddling the ones perpetrating the violence and destruction. Yet, that’s exactly what Pelosi and her party did.

So what’s really going on here? The internal polling must not be kind. That’s the most logical explanation I can think of. Trump has gained ground since the RNC in some battleground states, at least to the point where he’s in striking distance. One recent poll even showed him with a lead nationally, which is unlikely given the dynamics of how California and New York play into the supposed popular vote, but a good sign nonetheless. Democrats are fearing a replay of 2016, where a last-second shift and a surge of enthusiasm carries Trump over the finish line. They are right to be scared of that scenario, as it seems to be getting more likely every day. The enthusiasm for Biden is non-existent (see Joe Biden May Have Just Had the Most Pathetic ‘Parade’ In Political History) and his door to door campaigning is already being panned by Democrat operatives. It’s a repeat of Wisconsin 2016 in the making.

But who knows, maybe Pelosi really was just moved by a guy defecating in her driveway? That would make sense, as well. After all, mayors like Jenny Durkan and Lori Lightfoot only took action in their cities after their property was threatened. I can’t imagine someone as uppity and elitist as Pelosi is too fond of foreign fecal matter, though to be fair, you don’t have to be elitist to think that’s disgusting.

Hey, whatever it takes I suppose. But we all know she’s not sincere.

(Please follow me on Twitter! @bonchieredstate)