Did you know that all white people are so racist that they shouldn’t be allowed to vote? Did you know that people who are armed are stupid? Did you know that President Bush caused 9/11? Oh, and did you know that most of Pennsylvania is a “long dark chicken dance of the national soul”? Well, the Philadelphia Inquirer would like to school you in these “facts.” And, if you disagree? Well, who cares what you think anyway? You’re a gun loving, bitter racist, so who cares what you think? So proudly says PI columnist Jonathan Valania.

This is probably one of the most shocking, hate filled columns I’ve seen outside a KKK website, or the Communist Party Daily, for a long, long time. And that it comes from a leading national newspaper in one of our founding American cities, well, that makes it all the more outrageous. But right there in the Philly Inquirer we see it: “White people shouldn’t be allowed to vote.” And in case you are confused, the subhead brings it into sharper focus: “It’s for the good of the country and for those who’re bitter for a reason and armed because they’re scared.”

This unAmerican piece of elitist hectoring is brought to us in the name of “tolerance” and for the singular purpose to elect the most radically leftist candidate for president this nation has seen since Eugene Debbs and Norman Thomas.

So what is this business that whites should not be allowed to vote? One would hope that Valania was being “funny.” But, no, he’s as serious as a heart attack… or maybe as serious as a class attack is more to the truth.

As a lifelong Caucasian, I am beginning to think the time has finally come to take the right to vote away from white people, at least until we come to our senses. Seriously, I just don’t think we can be trusted to exercise it responsibly anymore.

By “come to our senses,” obviously Valania means to say that if we all don’t toe Obama’s Marxist line, well, we just don’t deserve to be allowed to vote. You see, voting isn’t the result of a personal process that ends in a chosen candidate, according to Valania. It is a perfunctory action made after receiving marching orders by overlords such as he, presumably. We should simply listen to our betters, maybe someone like Valania, without all this messy business of deciding for ourselves. And if we fail to come to his same conclusion? Well, we should have our vote summarily removed by he and his cohorts.

So, how does this elitist justify his claim that all whites do not deserve the vote? Well, he begins his quest to explain it all by lying… SEVERAL times… in the same paragraph.

In 2000, Bush-Cheney stole the election, got us attacked, and then got us into two no-exit wars. Four years later, white people reelected them. Is not the repetition of the same behavior over and over again with the expectation of a different outcome the very definition of insanity? (It is, I looked it up.)

There was no “Bush stolen election” except in the fevered minds of the extremist, wacko-fringe of the far left. We have elected presidents in the same way for hundreds of years: the Electoral College. Further, 9/11 was being planned while Clinton was in office, so Bush did not “get us attacked.” No one of any credible reputation can say such a thing. It is well known that bin Laden had been planning the felling of the World Trade Center for quite a while before anyone even imagined Bush would serve in the White House.

But, let’s play Valania’s game with that last bit. If he wants “insanity” how about his obviously insane belief in communism, a concept that is responsible for killing more humans than any other single idea in human history. It has been tried for well over 100 years and proven disastrous in lives, wars and treasure since the first time it was tried. Yet, Valania insanely still seems to believe in its tenets? Now that is insane.

Valania then goes on to knock Sarah Palin in a prosaic effort dragged right off the editorial page of any Old Media outlet. Yes, all of Sarah Palin’s fans are racists. Isn’t Johnny funny? Isn’t he a free thinker?

Then Valania goes on to act as if he is “just a regular guy” and not an unAmerican, elitist. You see, his grandfather was a coal miner. Surely the poor man is spinning in his grave over his grandson’s anti-American attitudes, too.

Valania ends with this cryptic description of Pennsylvania.

I fear for what is to become of them after the campaigns leave town for the last time, and Scranton and Allentown and Carlisle go back to being the long dark chicken dance of the national soul they were before the media showed up.

What is a “long dark chicken dance?” Your guess is as good as mine, but this guy sure thinks it’s cleaver, at least.

But, after reading this dreck one can only wonder what it was all about in the end? In reality, Valania indulges in sniping, hate against his fellows, hate for Republicans, hate for Bush and company, and reveals a self-indulgent assumption that he is smarter, more tolerant than everyone he knows. But what he didn’t do is give a single real, thoughtful reason to buttress his idiotic premise that all whites should be disenfranchised. All we get is off-handed quips and bland assumptions. Not a line of thoughtful analysis do we see.

If this schlock is what passes for intelligent analysis, the left really has come a long way from the days when the smartest people in the world served as the intellectual backbone for the movement. Apparently, all that is left is self-congratulatory, snarkists that are so sure that their ideas have already been “proven” that they waste no effort at intellectual justification. Yes, this lazy attempt at getting noticed is all there is left to the intellectual heft of the extreme left.

Valania is a great fit for the likes of the DailyKos, or the Democratic Underground, both places where intellectual vigor is not only not required, but is unrecognized by anyone there should it appear. And since the anti-intellectuals from those sites serve as the moving force of the left these days, one assumes that starting today Jonathan Valania will become the newest celebrity of the unhinged left.

For everyone else, though, he’ll just be a laughing stock.

(Photo credit: phawker.com)

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