PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Cumberland County Civic Center
Portland, ME
Taped from Saturday February 11th,
2010
Host: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave

Tonight’s PCW show was to have started off with the big match between
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) representing ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Jim Schmidt (R) accompanied by Ron
Paul (R-TX).  Except for one single, teeny-tiny problem…

BACKSTAGE
The Republican Establishment in the form of Corporate
Might: Big Oil and
Kirk Walstreit (R) took turns stomping away at Schmidt.  Big Oil lifted Schmidt
up and put him in the piledriver position and delivered an Oklahoma Driller on the floor.

Tanaka walked out grinning, thinking that he was about to have an easy
night.  Then…this….

PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH)  in the
ring.

Boehner: As the leader of the PCW Competition
Committee, and since we have no opponent tonight for Yamamoto Tanaka…

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!

Boehner: I have no other choice but to declare
Tanaka…and Mitt Romney…the-

Suave: What the hell? 

Ron Paul walks out and heads to the ring.

*Pat Green‘s ‘Southbound 35′ comes on*

Texas Jack runs down the ramp, passes Paul, and goes right to
the ring.  He throws Boehner out and starts trading shots with Tanaka.

A referee slides into the ring and we’re off.

Suffice to say, Boehner goes off like that elf in the movie ‘Bad
Santa!’

No, not THAT elf!  Well kinda…but no!

Okay.  Yeah.  That guy.

Meanwhile…

Texas Jack decks Tanaka with a left hand.  He climbs the top
turnbuckle…SPLASH!    Texas Jack hooks the leg…one…two…WHAT?

That’s right, Big Oil came to ringside and pulled the referee out.
Then it got even better…

Suave: “The crowd is pissed and rightly so.
Texas Jack is shouting at Big Oil.  He doesn’t see Tanaka.  HOLY CRAP!

From behind, Tanaka grabbed Texas Jack and dropped him like a bad
habit with the Scorpion Death Drop.  But Tanaka wasn’t done yet…

Suave: Tanaka’s has Texas Jack on the top
rope…no…no…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER!  Tanaka covers…Boehner’s in the ring…he
makes the count…1…2..3.

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) @ 14:02

Suave would call for the police to come down after Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit,
and PCW Champion Daniel-San hit the ring and beat on Texas Jack.

Er, no.  I don’t think he’s coming to Texas Jack’s rescue.   I don’t think
he’s coming to anyone else’s rescue either to be honest.

But someone else did…

Suave: IT’S A-BOMB!  IT’S A-BOMB!

A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Daisy
Cutter-Bomb

The crowd pops when A-Bomb, bandaged up from his beatdown Thursday night, and
Daisy Cutter-Bomb runs to the ring.  And he’s on…

…yeah, something like that.

A-Bomb pulls Daniel-San off Texas Jack.  Daniel-San swings;
A-Bomb ducks and then whips him through the ropes to the floor.  Walstreit comes
over- Daisy intercepts and kicks him in the balls.  Then she takes his breath
away with a devastating Daisy Cutter Powerbomb.  Tanaka and Big Oil retreat from
the ring when the Tea Party: Average Joe, ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, and NRA
show up as well.

—————————————————-

The year is 2017. In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife
have pulled the United States
apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find
themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an
attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind
attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest
challenge to date. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in
the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from
undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a
cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A.
Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political
satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

———————————————

And of course, next came the obligatory Jesusland vs. Progressiveville match
to promote the book.

MATCH #2

‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
(I) w/Rah
vs.
Happy Mango (I)

But!  Before the match could get started, David Brock of
Media Matters For America comes out and interrupts the proceedings.  Brock, who
is parodied in the book as well as most of the main political ‘stars’, is not
happy about his portrayal.

David Brock: That is not fair.  You equate us as being
no better than the lying conservative scum who-

Excerpt from Jesusland vs. Progressiveville:
A man
wearing a white shirt with black pinstripes stood up.  “Ma’am, given the fact
that there appears to be some significant movement forward from the initial
meetings, how long will it be before there will be some sort of official
announcement?”

“It’ll be soon.”

“A follow up,” the reporter said.  “Just how soon?”

“Really, really soon.”

“We object!”

Amy sighed and pointed to two men who shot up out of their chairs.
“What?”

“Eric Boehlert,” the man on the left said.

“David Brock,” the man on the right said.

“We’re from Media Matters for America,” Boehlert said.

“What’s your question?” queried Amy.

Brock answered, “We protest the fact that you allowed the last reporter, who
works for the Wall Street Journal- known for its bias towards conservatives, to
ask a follow up question.  That validates his first question which we see as
slanted towards a conservative viewpoint.”

Amy scratched her head.  “He asked a perfectly reasonable question.”

“We object to the fact that you are allowing the right wing to spew their
hate filled propaganda,” Boehlert said.

Brock added, “You’re helping to push the conservative’s extreme agenda by
giving their questions such credence.”

Amy considered her options.  “Hey, guys?  Look.  I am not biased in any way.
Hell, I’m a big fan of the Dixie Chicks and I feel that what’s happened to them
is a crime.  So-”

“I OBJECT!”

Amy’s eyes fluttered and she shook her head.  “All right, who are you?”

“Noel Sheppard.  NewsBusters.  We take on and fight liberal media bias.”

“And what do you want?  Are you implying that I’m somehow biased?”

“Yes,” Sheppard said matter of factly.  It’s a well known fact that liberals
use their sympathizers in the media to further their left wing agendas.”

“All I said was that I was a big fan of the Dixie Chicks.  And what happened
to them was a crime.”

“So you agree with the Dixie Chicks,” accused Sheppard.  “I knew you were
biased.”

“What?”

“SHE’S BIASED!”

Amy glared at Sheppard.

———————-

Of course, Brock again takes great exception at the comparison and threatens
to put Political Championship Wrestling and the author of Jesusland vs.
Progressiveville, Mr. A. Nominous, on his enemies list.  And then the most
peculiar thing happened…

Okay, okay.  More peculiar than the Beach Boys getting back together for
their 50th anniversary.

Suave: “Some guy with a bow-tie is running to the ring!
Wait a minute?  Is that Paul Simon?

The Late Senator Paul Simon (D-IL)

Suave: No, wait.  He’s dead.  I don’t
believe it.  Is that Tucker freakin’ Carlson?

Tucker freakin’ Carlson (R)

Carlson has a chair and hits the ring.  He blasts Brock with the steel
folding chair.  Then something even more inexplicable than the Beach Boys
reuniting and Tucker Carlson doing a run-in takes place…

Alan Dershowitz

Suave: “ALAN DERSHOWITZ? 

Dershowitz hands the referee some sort of warrant.

Suave: What the hell is that?  A steel folding
chair warrant?  Is that anything like the ‘torture warrant’ that Dershowitz once
advocated?

Apparently so.  After delivering the warrant, Dershowitz takes the chair from
Carlson and whaps Brock with it.  Then he took the microphone.

Dershowitz: “…let me tell you, Max Blumenthal and Media
Matters will be singlehandedly responsible for [Obama] losing the PCW CEO race.
They [the Democrats] cannot win and keep this affiliation with them [Media
Matters].

So after all that, ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin hit a Pizza
Cutter on Happy Mango three seconds into the match.  She made the cover and got
the pin.

WINNER: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin @ :06

Next, backstage PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with Mrs.
Miyagi about the break up between her and Daniel-San.   Except for the fact that
Mrs. Miyagi really isn’t in a talking mood.  At least until Daniel-San shows
up.

Daniel-San: Look, I didn’t care for the way
this whole thing went down.  That’s my fault.  I’m sor-

Yep.  cue John Creese and his Cobra Conservatives walking in to
interrupt the PCW Champion.

John Creese:Mercy is for the weak, Daniel-San.  Haven’t
you gotten that through your head?  Boys…

Cue the obligatory Cobra Con attack on Mrs. Miyagi.  Except Mrs. Miyagi wipes
the floor with Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy.  So Creese sweeps her leg and
tells Daniel-San to take her out.  Daniel-San slaps on the Labell Lock and by
the time Halitosis- the Insane Luchador with Horribly Bad Breath, can reach her
she’s unconscious.

MATCH #3- PCW Television Title Match
‘The One Man
Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
(c)
vs.
Mitch Thomas- The American
Taxpayer

Of course, Chism wins easily as the American Taxpayer is screwed from the
start when the announcement is made that the national debt will be a trillion
dollars more in a decade than originally forecast.

WINNER AND STILL PCW Television Champion: ‘The One Man Hollywood
A-List’ Stone Chism (D) @ :57

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Imperial Bowl
Pittsfield, MA
Thursday February 9th, 2012
Announcer:
Johnny Suave

Suave welcomed everyone to another edition of PCW Politics is War.  He
reviewed what went down Tuesday night at PCW Minnesota Mayhem:

-the preemptive attack on the Right Rev. Randy Richardson
(R), representing Rick Santorum (R-PA) and the God Squad by ‘The
Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt
Romney’s (R-MA) wrestler Yamamoto Tanaka (R) and the Republican Establishment.

-the surprise return of A. Tom Bomb (R).   Accompanied by
long time valet, Daisy Cutter-Bomb,
A-Bomb laid waste to Tanaka, K-Roy (R)- representing Newt Gingrich, and Magnum PO’d (R)- for Ron Paul (R-TX) to sweep through the Minnesota Mayhem match
on behalf of Santorum.

Suave announced that Jesusland
vs. Progressiveville, the novel featuring two wrestlers from Political
Championship Wrestling (‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Rah!),
was released on Kindle earlier today.

MATCH #1
‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (I)
w/Rah
vs.
‘American Girl‘ Sarah Mae
Smith (R) w/Harley Davisson

Smith challenged the whole concept of the book and blamed
the country’s problems on liberal Democrats.  She called herself a ‘true
American’ and went after Martin before the bell rang.

[...Martin and Smith brawl on the floor.   Smith gets a swinging bulldog on
Martin and drives the Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl's face into the floor.  From
behind, Davisson grabs Martin  tiger driver!  Rah protests to the referee.
Smith goes corkscrew legdrop but Tessa instinctively moves at the last second.
Rah helps Martin back into the ring and Smith follows suit.

Martin with an arm wrench, then a forearm smash.   Legsweep faceslam brings
the American Girl down.  Smith back up...PIZZA CUTTER!  Smith pinned. The ref
starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin @
6:45

BACKSTAGE
Mitt Romney held a ‘press availability’ (isn’t
that a press conference?) get together in the back and had this to say…

Romney: “I’d like to congratulate Rick Santorum on his win
Tuesday night.  But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t mean a hill of
gourmet beans imported from the finest coffee fields in Colombia because I will
be the Republican taking on Barack Obama in the fall.”

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein then asked Mitt how it couldn’t
mean something after he went to great trouble to take out Rev. Richardson
earlier in the night.  Romney disputed that ‘he’d’ gone after anyone.  He blamed
the attack on Rev. Richardson on Santorum’s record when he was part of the PCW
Executive Committee.  Bernstein again asked how.  Romney replied, “… Santorum
never et an earmark he didn’t like, now when his wrestler (Richardson) gets
instead of doing the responsible thing and toeing the line on spending he goes
out and buys another wrestler (A-Bomb).”

Bernstein then asked if the win was a significant setback for Romney.  Mitt
said it wasn’t because he really didn’t try to win that hard.

“I could have tried to win a lot harder, perhaps, but I didn’t so it really
doesn’t hurt me too bad in the grand scheme of things.”

Bernstein: “If you weren’t really trying that much, why did
you have Richardson taken out before the match?”

Romney sputtered around the subject and then declared he’d ‘try harder’
tonight.   He then laid out a challenge to A-Bomb to face Yamamoto Tanaka
tonight and claimed that PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH) had
already signed off on the match.

Out of nowhere, Code Pink runs out.  She
tries to fire a Glitter Bomb at Romney but out comes Arizona’s Rough
Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former city police officers
fired for their extreme brand of justice, with Sheriff Joe Arpaio.  They collar Code Pink and drag her away
before she can reach Romney.

‘The Massachusett’s Redblood then walked away with his entourage in search of
gourmet beans imported from the finest coffee fields in Colombia.

Then Mrs. Miyagi, former manager of the PCW Champion Daniel-San, walked out
with her new wrestler- HALITOSIS (I)!

Halitosis (I) with Mrs. Miyagi

‘The Luchador with the Insanely Bad Breath’ Halitosis
HT:
5’8, WT: 170, HOME: Cabo Wabo, Mexico
FIN: Breath of Death
MGR: Mrs.
Miyagi

Suave: It’s Halitosis versus…Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy?  Who
the hell is Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy?

Another excerpt from Jesusland vs.
Progressiveville:
“EXCUSE ME!” Lingerie Girl sprang to her feet and
wagged her finger at Rah. “I’ll have you know that…hey…”

She looked down.  Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy was affectionately licking her
feet.

“No! No, no, no!” Lingerie Girl said, pulling her feet back and then hopping
up and down. She bent down and rubbed the top of her foot with her hand to get
the slobber and drool off.

Suave: “Ew, lovely.”

MATCH #2
Halitosis (I)
vs.
Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy
(I)

[The bell rings...Halitosis kicks Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy in the groin.
Snap mare takeover. Headlock takedown.  Halitosis...BREATHES IN NYE'S FACE!.
Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy drops to the mat.  Halitosis hooks the leg. Referee
makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Halitosis @ :41

Suave: “Okay.  First Newt Tron Bomb comes back Tuesday night
with his lethal flatulence otherwise known as ‘Silent, But Deadly.’  Now,
Halitosis?  The WWE wouldn’t do this type of crap-”

Suave: “Okay.  I take that back.”

Suave then talks about the major controversy from last week’s Super
Bowl.

The God Squad…

Rev. Oral Hinnrich
HT: 6-0  WT: 190, HOME: Biloxi,
Mississippi
FIN: P.O.C. (Power of Christ)
MGR: Sister Mary Marlboro

Rev. Buddy Flambe
HT: 5-11 WT 189, HOME: Beaumont, Texas
FIN: P.O.C.

…then come out to complain about Madonna’s ‘inappropriate’ Super Bowl
halftime show.

Rev. Flambe: “Why can’t they bring in good, wholesome
entertainment?”

Rev. Hinnrich agreed.  He suggested bringing back  ‘Up With People.’

Suave: “Oh, dear.  No.  No, no, no…no.”

Backstage
Vince Giordano, Vice President of the New Jersey Education
Association, spoke with Bernstein about his opposition to school vouchers.
Bernstein asked Giordano if it was fair for poor students to be stuck in failing
schools.

Giordano: “Well,  life’s not always fair and I’m sorry about
that.”

Out of nowhere, the Jersey Boyz Vinnie and Frankie (R) tackle Giordano and
there’s a brawl when ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty of the
California Teacher’s Union comes to his aid.  Chris Christie (R-NJ) came out and
delivered this diatribe:

Christie: “I cannot express how disgusted I am by that
statement.  But I also have to tell you I’m not the least bit surprised because
I think it so succinctly captures what their position- their real position-
is.”

Suave: “For not being able to express his disgust, he’s
doing a pretty good job of expressing his disgust.”

Christie went on to call Giordano’s comments ‘puffed up rich man’s baloney’
and again the Jersey Boyz attacked- this time against the CTU.  A referee came
out and we had ourselves an impromptu match…

MATCH #3
The California Teacher’s Union: Andy ‘The Foul Pole’
Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D)
vs.
The Jersey Boyz: Vinnie and Frankie (R)
w/Chris Christie (R-NJ)

[...Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker  hits the ring and takes
out the referee.  James the Jeep Worker a jawbreaker on Vinnie.  Big Labor
splashes Frankie in the corner. Giordano cheers as Frankie gets suplexed by Big
Labor.   Inverted atomic drop on Vinnie by Golatta.  Now, guillotine choke on
Vinnie.   Christie in the ring!  Big splash to James the Jeep Worker.  Christie
decks Giordano from the ring apron and follows him to the floor.  Wait!  That's
Scott Walker (R-WI) and Mitch Daniels (R-IN) coming to the ring!  And they're
bringing the Roy Boys!  T-Roy and K-Roy hit the ring to even the odds.  K-Roy
pokes Golatta in the eyes...Evenflow DDT by T-Roy! K-Roy drags Vinnie over and
puts him on Golatta for a pin. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: The Jersey Boyz @ 9:30

Both tag teams barely have enough time to get out of the ring before both
A-Bomb and Tanaka come brawling down the ramp.

A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Daisy
Cutter-Bomb

[A-Bomb punches Tanaka over and over.  Tanaka finally tackles A-Bomb and roll
around the floor.  Then Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) run down
and start beating on A-Bomb.  Walstreit hits with the back of his elbow while
Big Oil delivers a kick to the head.   Daisy Cutter-Bomb jumps on Big Oil’s
back.  He lifts her up and Samoan Drops her to the floor.  Tanaka and Big Oil
whip A-Bomb into the steel barricade.  Then Tanaka lifts him
up…PILEDRIVER.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Big Oil then delivers an Oklahoma Driller and finally security gets down to
the ring.  Both A-Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb are laid out on the floor as the
show ends.

PCW Minnesota Mayhem Results
Williams Arena
Minneapolis, MN
Tuesday February 7th, 2012
Announcer: Johnny Suave

The second ever PCW ‘Roadshow Across America’ tour made a stop tonight in Minneapolis for tonight’s Minnesota Mayhem show.

‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) entered the arena in high spirits along with his wrestler, Yamamoto Tanaka (R).  Tanaka has torn through the Republican competition since he switched sides and looked to continue that trend tonight.

Who looked to stem the Romney tidal wave?  Rick Santorum (R-PA) and his charge, The Right Rev. Randy Richardson- the former Triple R, that’s who.

The Right Rev. Randy Richardson
HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 235, HOME: Scarsdale, NY
FIN:  Chairshot or Caneshot

Richardson walked out with the God Squad…

Rev. Oral Hinnrich
HT: 6-0  WT: 190, HOME: Biloxi, Mississippi
FIN: P.O.C. (Power of Christ)
MGR: Sister Mary Marlboro

Rev. Buddy Flambe
HT: 5-11 WT 189, HOME: Beaumont, Texas
FIN: P.O.C.

…and said that he knows that his reputation precedes him.  Richardson admits that he’s always been his worst enemy and that too many times in the past  he’s cost himself the PCW title.  Tonight that changes.  Richardson claims he’s more at peace with himself right now then he’s been at any point in his career.

The crowd buzzed when the Japanese Superdestroyer Yamamoto Tanaka (R) ran out and delivered a preemptive strike on Richardson.

…Tanaka hits a frog splash on Richardson. Tanaka goes to the top and hits a flying sitdown splash.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  HE’S GOING TO KILL HIM!”

Tanaka back to his feet and calls to the back.  Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Champion Daniel-San with John Creese and the Cobra Cons run to ringside.  Big Oil spikes Richardson’s head into the mat with an Oklahoma Driller.   Walstreit sets Richardson up and hits him with the Stock Market Plunge.  Rev. Flambe and Rev. Hinnrich try to help out but Walstreit bats them away.  Then he piledrives Rev. Flambe.  Daniel-San clotheslines Rev. Hinnrich.  Daniel-San hits a gut-wrench suplex on Richardson. Creese sets Richardson up and Daniel-San decks the Rev. with a Crane Kick.    Tanaka drags Richardson onto the top turnbuckle.

Suave: “NO!  SOMEONE STOP HIM!”

Yeah, too late.  One Japanese SuperDestroyer later Richardson is out cold!  For good measure,  Daniel-San hits the shooting star press on Richardson and then splits with Creese and company.

So, Richardson gets taken out by Tanaka.  Santorum goes to the back and berates Romney who feigns any knowledge of the attack.

MATCH #1
‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D) of Politically Correct w/ Soccer Mom (D)
vs.
T-Roy (R) w/former head of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Karen Handel

[Elbow Drop on Thomas-Taylor by T-Roy.   Soccer Mom climbs to the ring apron.  She distracts T-Roy and ... BOOM- New Age Sensitive Guy blasts T-Roy in an old school sensitive area.   Then the new group Planned Parenthood (Democrats Jordan Metzger and Kendra W. Wallace) hit the ring and tackle Handel to the mat.  Metzger punches T-Roy repeatedly while Wallace wrestles with Handel on the mat.   Shoulder tackle by Thomas-Taylor on T-Roy and the New Age Sensitive Guy apologzies afterwards.  Metzger with a Neck Breaker.  Wallace spins turns Handel around and boots her in the ass.  Thomas-Taylor goes for the pin...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor @ 8:20

Post match, the beatdown continued and Planned Parenthood taunted Handel who was sprawled out on the mat.

Suave noted that Handel may not have handled her issues with Planned Parenthood very well.

Big Oil Promo
Big Oil (R) claims that the end of the world is here because… GAS PRICES WILL GO BACK OVER $4 A GALLON BY MEMORIAL DAY!  Big Oil laughs and calls everyone who complains about the rising cost of gasoline nothing more than a Big Oil wannabe.   Big Oil pulls out a wad of cash and starts counting the bills.  He points to all sections of the arena and says the whole arena was filled with Big Oil wannabe’s.  Then as he leaves, Big Oil points some more people out in the crowd and calls them wannabes!

Suave: “Well, that sucks.”

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein in the back with Rick Santorum.  Bernstein asks him with Rev. Richardson being taken out, who was he considering to take his place.  Santorum, looking very concerned, responded that ‘he didn’t know.’  Then he turned and walked away.

Suave: “Well?  That sucks for him.”

Suave then talks about PCW Champion Daniel-San’s recent appearance in Phoenix Wrestling as part of the CWC Ascension Tournament…

REPLAY: Daniel-San vs. Graham Clausen vs. James Stall
(courtesy of Phoenix Wrestling)
[[Stall grabs onto Daniel-san and throws him out of the ring, before going back to Clauson, who is up to his feet. A boot to the gut backs Clauson into a corner, where Stall starts to unload with some punches to the face, followed by boots to the gut, stomping a mud-hole into Clauson's chest. Clauson gets whipped across the ring, and Stall charges right after, but runs into a pair of raised boots. Stall stumbles away as Clauson gets onto the second turnbuckle, then dives onto Stall to hit a beautiful DDT!]]

Clauson gets up, all fired up after the big move. But here comes Kris Keebler to a series of boos, who’s holding a chair. He gets up onto the apron, but Clauson hits a superkick, knocking him down! But here’s Daniel-san with a roll-up!

1
.
.
Daniel-san hooks the tights!
.
2
.
.
3!!!

Winner, via pinfall on Graham Clauson, Daniel-san.

Suave notes that, of course, Daniel-San snuck in and took the pin from James Stall after Stall had done all the work.

MATCH #2
Arizona Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (R) w/Sheriff Joe Arpaio
vs.
Occupy Wall Street: Nate and Shane (D) w/Adam

[Ruff knocks Shane into the referee.  Then Justice in the ring and sends  Shane to the turnbuckle while Ruff follows with a splash.  Sheriff Arpaio opens up a chair and puts it in the ring...Nate thrown into the ropes...Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair!  Adam protests but can't stop Ruff's frog splash on Nate.   Justice has the taser...*ZZZZZZAP*  Nate drops and the referee makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Arizona Rough Justice @ 6:10

And then it was time for the Minnesota Mayhem match…

MAIN EVENT:
Minnesota Mayhem Match
K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robbyn Masters and Ron Paul (R-TX)
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)

Rick Santorum came out next.  Romney got on the mic and wanted to know where his wrestler was.  Then…

*Avenida Revolucion by Chickenfoot plays*

Suave: “What the…are they back?”

A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb

The crowd roared at the return of A. Tom Bomb to PCW.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[...A-Bomb and Magnum PO'd still maintain control over Tanaka, hammering on his ribs at every opportunity.  A-Bomb grinds his knee into Tanaka's back at the ten minute mark. Daisy teases a run-in as the crowd goes wild.  Double vertical Suplex on Tanaka.  But when they try to get him out of the ring, Tanaka stops them.  Finally...]

Suave: “Wait a minute…not him, too.”

That’s right, it’s NEWT TRON BOMB (R).  Suave frantically tries to find his gas mask as N-Bomb slides into the ring and sticks his ass in Tanaka’s face.  Then…

Suave: “SILENT BUT DEADLY!  SILENT BUT DEADLY!  OH MY…THAT STINKS!”

Tanaka out.  Both A-Bomb and Magnum cover…1…2…3.

Suave: “TANAKA’S OUT!”

Mitt Romney slams his fists on the ring and watches A-Bomb rolls Tanaka out of the ring.  Then A-Bomb turns to Magnum and rocks him with right hand.  He lifts Magnum up-…ATOMIC POWERBOMB!  A-Bomb covers…1…2…3.]

Santorum bounces into the ring and holds up A-Bomb’s arm.

WINNER: A. Tom Bomb @ 8:25

Suave: “Santorum gets the big win here tonight!  That’s all for PCW Minnesota Mayhem.  We’ll see you on Thursday night for PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN!”

PCW Reno Rage Results
Winnemucca Convention Center
Winnemucca, NV
Saturday February 4th, 2012

Okay, the first question.  Why is Reno Rage being held in Winnemucca, NV?

The Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy (D) w/John F’n Kerry (D-MA) defeated the Religious Right: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe (R)

‘Tin Cup‘ Ray McAvay (Tea Party) got a rare victory over Brad Company (I)

PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I) destroyed Peta from PETA (D).

New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D) defeated Dave the Mechanic (I) in a match where he had to have apologized at least seventeen times.

Reno Rage Match
K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robbyn Masters and Ron Paul (R-TX)
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA)

The crowd was about half the level into Jim Schmidt (R) when he wrestled for Ron Paul as they were for Magnum PO’d.   (Plus, having Robbyn Masters there certainly didn’t hurt either).

Early on, Rev. Richardson did a small move and then inexplicatively jumped on the middle turnbuckle.  He posed for the crowd as if he just scored a pin and then ran into the waiting clutches of Tanaka.  Tanaka powerbombed Rev. Richardson and then replicated his celebration.   Ron Paul went around and high-fived every fan in the front row around the ring.   Magnum PO’d hit the Porsche Plunge on Richardson.  Magnum went for the pin but Gingrich pulled the referee out of the ring.  Paul ran to the back to get another referee.

Meanwhile, Richardson used a chair on Tanaka which only served to royally piss off the Japanese SuperDestroyer.   Richardson then got in his face, there was shoving, and then a choke slam on Richardson.  Tanaka sent the Right Reverend over the top rope and facilitated elimination number one of the match.

Tanaka shook off Magnum’s attempt to Porsche Plunge him and powerbombed him through a table outside the ring for the second elimination of the match.

K-Roy jumped on Tanaka’s back and tried to choke him out.  Tanaka backed hard into the corner turnbuckle and squashed K-Roy.  Then to the top rope, Japanese SuperDestroyer, and time to catch the next flight to Minneapolis for Tuesday’s PCW Minnesota Mayhem.

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 10:31

Romney shakes Tanaka’s hand and then takes off to head to the airport.

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Comanche County Fairgrounds
Lawton, Oklahoma
Thursday February 2nd, 2012
Announcer: Johnny Suave

Hello and welcome to another PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN report.  Tonight’s show from Lawton, Oklahoma started with a 10 bell salute to the late, great boxing trainer, Angelo Dundee.

Dundee was the famed trainer of such boxing greats as Muhammad Ali and Sugar Ray Leonard among others.  He was truly one of the greats.

Then on the big screen…

Donald Trump (R)

That’s right.  The Donald himself.  Showing up at the back door of the Coliseum, Trump was hustled into the building by security.

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave wondered why the Donald was here tonight.  Then Newt Gingrich (R-GA) appeared in the back and went skipping through the hallway.  Suave put one and one together and surmised that the Donald was here tonight to deliver some much needed help to the Gingrich campaign by giving him his endorsement.

MATCH #1
Dr. Annabel ‘The Cannibal’ Lecktor w/FBI Agent Charlize Starling and Roseanne Barr (Green Party)
vs.
‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)

This match got off to a bizarre start when Barr joined Dr. Lecktor in the ring and announced she was running for PCW CEO with the Green Party.

And of course, the referee delivered the prefunctionary warning to Dr. Lecktor that any attempt to remove her mask would result in an immediate disqualification.  As always, FBI Agent Starling stood nearby with her cattle prod just in case.

End of match…

[...Dallas hits a springboard bulldog and slams Dr. Lecktor's head onto the mat.  Dr. Lecktor adjusts her mask and then kicks Dallas in the groin.  Mule kicks by Dr. Lecktor sends Dallas reeling into the ropes.  Lecktor throws the Texas Cowgirl to the mat and locks in the Hell's Gate.   Referee checks for a tap out...Dr. Lecktor cinches it tighter...Dallas has no choice but to tap. ]

WINNER: Dr. Annabel ‘The Cannibal’ Lecktor (Green Party) @ 6:11

So, Dr. Lecktor gets her first win in PCW in some time.  Post match, she beats on Dallas some more, while Roseanne celebrates outside the ring by screeching annoyingly at the top of her lungs, and then the doctor begins to take her mask off.  FBI Agent Starling wastes no time in cattle prodding Dr. Lecktor into submission.  One hoped that Agent Starling would do the same to Roseanne- but no luck.

Next, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) entered the arena coming off a very successful night at PCW Tussle in Tallahassee.

MAIN EVENT- FLORIDA FOUR WAY DANCE
K-Roy (R)- Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R)- Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Jim Schmidt (R)- Ron Paul (R-TX)

The ring announcer paused and everyone looked at the ramp.  First out, the PCW Champion Daniel-San (R), John Creese and his Cobra Cons.  The crowd booed the PCW Champion unmercifully as the group headed down the ramp.  Next out, the leader of the Republicans Rance Priebus.  Priebus took the microphone and announced for ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney…

Yamamoto Tanaka
HT: 6′ 9″ WT: 350, HOME: Nagano, Japan
FIN: Japanese Super Destroyer

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Tanaka came to the ring and eliminated Schmidt and Richardson in short order.  K-Roy put up a fight but Tanaka hit the Japanese SuperDestroyer and won at the 6:20 mark.

Romney, with the Republican establishment firmly behind him, said that he was on such a roll right now that he’s worried about winning the nomination to become the Republican challenger to Barack Obama in November about as much as he’s worried about poor people.

Romney tried to walk back the whole ‘not worried about the poor thing’ but in the end his staff whisked him off into a meeting.

In the back, PCW’s intrepid Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviewed Democrats Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi about the defection of the Japanese SuperDestroyer Yamamoto Tanaka to the Republicans.

Pelosi was predictably outraged that Tanaka would take this…

Um…wrong currency guys.

All right…seriously?

That’s better.

Pelosi was offended that Tanaka took a briefcase full of cash from the Republicans and made the switch.  When Bernstein reminded her that it was the Democrats and their Super PAC’s who used a briefcase full of cash to entice Tanaka to their side earlier, Pelosi responded with this:

“Well, at least we did it for the right reason.”

As for the Republicans, they too had to deal with a significant defection from Tuesday night’s show- the loss of longtime stalwart ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott…

…Scott went on and lashed out at the Republican Establishment.  He called Palin a victim of the abject slime pit, win at all cost mentality that our politics have become. Scott added that anyone who once had a 70-80% positive rating in her state and knocked off an incumbent Republican governor with ethics problem isn’t dumb.

Kevin Scott: “It’s bad enough that the Democrats/Left Wing Elitists are now using their Hollywood allies to further trash Sarah Palin in their movies…(see Game Change.)  What’s clear is that the Republican Establishment didn’t want her either and she’s getting it from both sides now.”

Scott then stunned the crowd by quitting the Republicans.

Mitch McConnell (R-KY) told Fox News hot newsbabe Megyn Kelly

McConnell: “It’s not like Kevin Scott hasn’t pulled this #@$# before.   He once quit and joined the Democrats for a short time before crawling on his hands and knees back to the Republicans.  Kevin Scott needs to realize that this isn’t about him.  It’s all about putting Republicans in position of power and winning titles and if he’s not up to the task then I’m glad he’s gone.   We’re getting the better of a Scott for Tanaka trade off.”

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION:  Daniel-San (R)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Labor/James the Jeep Worker (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Valora Salinas (I)
#2- ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
#3- Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
#4- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (I)
#5- Charlie Blackwell (I)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#2- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#3- Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
#4- Charlie Blackwell/Mike the Mechanic (I)
#5- Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)

WOMEN’S CONTENDERS:
#1- Valora Salinas (I)
#2- Sarah Mae Smith (R)
#3- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#4- Union Maid (D)
#5- ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)

Big shake up in the single’s rankings as Chism and Tanaka rejoin the top 5.  K-Roy drops out and O’Beck Bahama retired from competition.

Chism and Tanaka didn’t like each other when they were both Democrats.  Now that Tanaka’s aligned with the Republicans, that hatred should ratchet up a few more notches.

MATCH #2
‘The Bureaucrat’ Jordan Metzger (D)
vs.
Blue Dog D (D) w/Heath Shuler (D-NC)

Metzger is an up and comer who hasn’t quite hit his stride yet.  Blue Dog D has been on the downslide for over six months now.

[...Metzger kicks Blue Dog D in the groin and follows with a dragon suplex.  Metzger then hits the handspring moonsault.  Metzger locks in the Red Tape submission on Blue Dog D and makes him tap out. ]

WINNER: ‘The Bureaucrat’ Jordan Metzger @ 3:39

As Metzger celebrates his win, Heath Shuler takes the microphone.  He announces that both he and Blue Dog D are leaving PCW.

Finally, the moment we’ve waited for.

Donald Trump’s procession makes its way to the ring.  Trump, leaving a trail of cash behind him, and his entourage climb into the ring, followed a few feet back by Newt Gingrich and K-Roy (R).  Gingrich has a huge grin on his face and Suave comments that he knows Gingrich thinks he’s back in contention now with Trump in his corner.

Trump: “Ladies and gentlemen.  After great thought and consideration, I have decided that I, Donald J. Trump, will endorse…

By this point, Gingrich is hopping up and down like a jack in a box in the ring.

Trump: “Mitt Romney.”

Suave: “WHAT?”

Romney strolls out to the ring and shakes Trump’s hand while a stunned Gingrich watches.

Trump: “Mitt is tough, he’s smart, he’s sharp and he’s not going to allow bad things to continue to happen to this country we all love.  Go out and get ‘em. You can do it.”

Suave: “Gingrich can’t believe it!  K-Roy is pissed.  Trump endorses Romney….”

And we’ll see you Saturday at PCW Reno Rage for the big showdown.

Heath Shuler has always been a bit of a conundrum in western North Carolina. He was a Democrat, albeit more Conservative than your average one, in a very Conservative area of the state. And like his fellow members of the “Blue Dogs” he was usually fell in line to support Pelosi and Company after much public “Discussion” that helped make him look more Conservative than he is in actuality. Now his time has come and he will be retiring at the end of this Congress. However, this is not the result of a popular uprising in Asheville even though the Tea Party is active in that area. Rather it illustrates the importance of voting and highlights one of the most overlooked results of the 2010 elections; the takeover of several state legislatures by Republicans just in time for re-districting.

In North Carolina, Republicans took control of the legislature in the 2010 elections and this has allowed them to drive Brad Miller and now Shuler from office. The Congressional delegation will be more representative of the state in general as Republicans get their chance to gerrymander. As a resident of NC-4, a district set up to be Democrat district forever, I am a beneficiary of the Republican majority as I will now be in NC-2 represented by Renee Ellmers. This is a great thing as is the retirements of Miller and Shuler. And David Price in NC-4 will be where he belongs, on Chapel Hill and Durham.

The lesson for all of you that all complaining about our potential nominee in the race for POTUS and threatening to stay home (I am looking at you Newt supporters) is to get out and vote no matter who that nominee is in November. Not only can we send Obama back to Chicago, we can extend our control over state houses and local politics which is vital as I am seeing firsthand in North Carolina.

Cross-posted at The Opinionator

American politics today are mainly consumed with one thing:  The fight between Democrats and Republicans.  It was not always this way.  In fact, when this country was formed there were no political parties.  There were only concerned citizens of the new nation who were dedicated to protecting and bettering it for future generations.  Party lines were never a consideration.  In the Founders’ minds, if something would further the country they loved, it should be done. 

The Democratic Party formed in the 1790s and at its formation, supported states’ rights and strict adherence to the Constitution, as well as opposed a national bank.  It was originally named the Democratic-Republican Party and was founded by Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.  They reached power after the election of 1800.  In 1812, their chief political rival, the Federalist Party, disbanded.  It was at this point that the Democratic Party was formed, led by Andrew Jackson and Martin van Buren.  These and the other members of the Democratic Party strongly believed in the old Jeffersonian principles.  The Republican Party was not formed until 1854 and first reached power in 1861, through Abraham Lincoln.

While opposing political parties are common in a democracy, they were never meant to take over domestic politics.  When a Congress cannot work together and begin to improve our economic situation here at home, something is wrong.  Think about it:  In 2011, twice we faced the threat of a government shutdown because Congress could not agree on a budget.  Our credit rating was also downgraded for the first time, from AAA to AA+.  It may not seem like much, but as the most exceptional nation on earth, more is expected of us. 

When did the focus of those in power shift from bettering the country to bettering their own careers?  We need people who are focused on why we elected them:  Preserving and protecting this country and its principles.  Our principles are what made us different from every other nation on earth; if we continue to go downhill in that area, what will happen to this country?  We will be shoved into the jumble of nations that compete for higher status in the world hierarchy.  The United States is currently at the top of that hierarchy; why, then, would we risk that position?  Loving this country is what put us on top.  Through love of country, hard-working people came here to pursue their dreams and have helped put their country further ahead because of it.  Through patriotism, faith in God, and hard work, anything is possible in America.  Our political parties are threatening to change all of that.

I have a challenge for all members of Congress.  For one month, put aside your party affiliation.  The letter beside your name should not determine whether you vote for something or not.  What determines that should be the question of whether it is something that benefits America.  When Congress puts aside the labels of Democrat and Republican for that month, all of them will replace it with a new label:  American citizen.  Each member of Congress is an American citizen, just like you and me.  By wearing that label rather than that of Democrat and Republican for one month, unbelievable change could be brought about.  The number of issues that have gone unsolved could have been greatly reduced if greedy politicians had not been so focused on that party affiliation.

I am a proud Conservative.  I believe the conservative vision is the one America desperately needs right now.  However, I also believe there are many in Congress who wear that label without realizing the responsibility it brings.  We need to put aside all labels in Congress and focus on getting things done.  Would this challenge work?  I’m almost sure of it.  Would it be accepted?  We may never know.  It is possible, but only if concerned citizens take it upon ourselves to make it happen.  Call your elected officials and tell them your concerns.  Encourage them to set aside their party affiliation and focus on what they were elected to do.  If we hold our Congress accountable, they will have no choice but to work together or risk being kicked out of office.  Those who fail to work with others were probably never concerned with the well-being of the United States in the first place.

My latest article in Smart Girl Nation highlights this issue as well (page 22).  If we do not keep our Congress in check, they will become a burden to this country rather than a help.  I would love to see this Congress take the challenge I specified above.  It could make all the difference in the world.  How far must this bickering on Capitol Hill continue before it is stopped?  As American citizens, we can stop it through elections; but does it have to go on until November?  Our elected officials need to “man up” and turn themselves around.  If not, many of them will be ushered to the door come November.  Maybe that really is what we need; but until then, our Congress needs to prove to this country that they care about America’s future and are willing to fight for it.  This challenge would be the perfect way to start.
Originally written for Next Generation Voters.

I guess the label of “inevitability” returns as Mitt Romney rides out of Florida with a massive Super PAC attack ad influenced vanquishing of Newt Gingrich last night. And with that label returning you have folks trying to explain Romney’s “Romneyness” Whether it’s his health care plan in Massachusetts or his history of running far, far away from the conservative movement and Ronald Reagan, those inside the Beltway fart bubble now find themselves trying to make excuses for Mitt’s lack of conservative street cred.

Now, look if you want to tell me he’s the most electable and thus you’re supporting him based on that dynamic alone fine, I think you’re full of horse sh** but at least you gave me a reason that could be argued one way or another. But to sit there and try to convince me that the former governor is a true conservative and he only abandoned his conservatism because he had to win in deep blue Massachusetts well, I’m not going to buy that item my friend.

Here’s the thing, you think Scott Walker in deep blue Wisconsin left his conservative principles at the front door when he ran in 2010? What does it say about Scott Walker who’s catching mad hell right now, fighting off a recall election, and Democrat attack dogs when he stood by his conservative beliefs in the face of opposition as opposed to Mitt Romney who perhaps like a political coward made the decision to run away from his conservative beliefs when he ran for governor in Massachusetts? I mean would that not make Romney a coward or do I have this whole thing wrong? If Scott Walker ran as a small government conservative in an equally deep blue state then why couldn’t Romney?

The most laughable thing I heard from a Romney supporter was when Man Coulter had the balls to say that Mitt Romney was the most conservative candidate in the race. Now I understand whoring yourself out for Romney because your hatred for Obama is such that you desperately want to replace him with a guy who isn’t all that different from him other than the fact that one has an “R” by his name and the other a “D”, but come on bra, don’t play us like we’re brain dead.

Mitt Romney is the least conservative and as I’ve said the least electable of the four men left in this race. As for as I’m concerned Rick Santorum is the only one who comes across as an adult with understanding of policy and the experience to back it up. Newt isn’t all that electable but at least he’s been an important figure within the conservative movement. Ron Paul can’t win because his foreign policy is unrealistic. Mitt Romney can’t and won’t win if he’s nominated because he has no conviction, no balls, he’s arrogant, he’s trying to buy this primary, and he’s gone nuclear in terms of negative campaigning. By the time this is all said and done if Mitt wins the nomination he won’t be a stronger candidate as some are now suggesting, he’ll be a weak candidate because he’ll be a one trick pony. He can’t talk about his record because like Obama his record can and will be diced up and refuted like wet toilet paper. His so called record of 100.000 jobs created isn’t even a sticking point for his campaign anymore. If his record as governor and as a private sector man was so solid he never would have gone to such lengths as to attack Newt with these negative ads in Iowa and in Florida.

I always say that if you have something good to say about yourself then you’ll never have to say anything bad about someone. Romney must not have much in the way of positive self reinforcement because his main sticking points are: “Newt’s a crazy bastard and I’m the most electable.”

We really need to shatter this Romney myth about elect ability bro. The friggin’ guy ain’t electable. If Obama is piss then Romney’s horse piss. I sure it comes from a horse but it’s still piss my friend. There’s not one true bold difference between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama. And like I said before if Romney wins the nomination I can’t vote for him. I think he’s unacceptable as is Barack Obama so I might just sit this one out and I encourage voters who take in account principle and leadership above political expediency and elect ability to do the same. I won’t support a guy who will get in and oversee destruction without taking a stand to change it.

They say Romney’s a manager and therefore he’s best equipped for the job. Sure if the job is to manage bull sh** then Romney’s the guy, but I want a re-builder not a manager. I have a manager at work, his name is Jeff; Jeff ain’t f**kin qualified to be president.

PCW Tussle in Tallahassee Results
Leon County Civic Center
Tallahassee, Florida
Tuesday January 31st, 2012
Announcer: Johnny Suave

Suave ran down the show.

The main event tonight is a four way Republican dance between K-Roy, representing Newt Gingrich (R-GA), ‘American Citizen‘ Kevin Scott- ‘The Massachusett’s Red Blood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), The Right Rev. Randy Richardson- Rick Santorum (R-PA), and Jim Schmidt- Ron Paul (R-TX).

Also on the show, Kathryn Randall Collins (D) to put her PCW Women’s title on the line against Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R).

O’Beck Bahama (D) Retires
Suave announced that former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama had a recurrence of Post Concussion Syndrome after taking a chairshot from Christopher Dodd (D-CT), chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America nearly two weeks ago on PCW Politics is War and has retired from pro wrestling for good.

Bahama walked out to a standing ovation from the Tallahassee crowd and thanked everyone.

Then backstage, PCW Daniel-San ruffled a lot of feathers with his remarks about his recent ‘rebirth.’

Daniel-San’s ‘Turn’
[After a two minute sequence that saw near-falls by both wrestlers and had the crowd on their feet, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy, made their way to the ring.  Creese and his group entered the ring and it appeared they were going to attack Daniel-San again.  However, Creese sic’d his Cobra Cons on Valora.

 Salinas, an independent with no real allies to come to her rescue, was obliterated by the four on one attack and then decked by a Crane Kick by Daniel-San that nearly took her head off.  Unconscious on unable to defend herself, Daniel-San slapped on the Labell Lock and the referee called the match.  However, Daniel-San refused to release the hold, even after Mrs. Miyagi pleaded with him to do so.  Creese’s Cobra Cons then annihilated Mrs. Miyagi and left her in a crumpled heap in the ring.]

Daniel-San: “That’s right.  I beat up a woman.  But not just any woman- so they say.  The great Valora Salinas.  The Queen of Hardcore.  Former Wrestling Midwest champion.  Former Missouri Valley Wrestling champion.  The woman who could kick any man’s ass in the ring.  And I made her tap.  I stopped her alleged ‘path of rage’ through PCW.  I did that- why?  Because, one, I’m that good and, two,  that’s what I get paid to do.  Let me reiterate this- that’s what I get paid to do.  So when one of my ‘fans’ comes up to me and whines that I fired Mrs. Miyagi, my former manager…”

 *Daniel-San fires Mrs. Miyagi
[Daniel-San (R) comes out with John Creese and the Cobra Cons and calls Mrs. Miyagi out.  As Creese et all look menacingly on, Daniel-San tells Mrs. Miyagi that he will describe her factor in his success in one word: Failure.  The crowd starts to boo.  Daniel-San says Mrs. Miyagi was a failure of a manager, a failure at managing his career, and a failure as a human being.

Daniel-San: “John Creese has shown me the right path to take.  So as of now, Mrs. Miyagi, you’re fired!”

 Again, the crowd boos and debris flood the ring.  Daniel-San calls the audience a bunch of jealous wannabes who’d give anything to be in his position right now.  He now has money, power, and prestige.]

Daniel-San: “…aw, poor Mrs.Miyagi.  How about, welcome to the real world.  If you perform.  If you produce.  You are rewarded.  If you don’t; well, you get fired.  It’s funny, when one of my former fans comes up to me and wants to know why I’ve done what I’ve done- it’s because I am paid to do so.  Why did I hook up with John Creese and his Cobra Cons?  Because they paid me the most to join them.  That’s right, I joined the Republicans because their price was right.  And before you Democrats, start up, be assured, they offered me a whole boatload of money too to join their side.  John Creese’s offer was better.  Let me remind you again, I am a professional wrestler.  I wrestle- I get paid.  I’m the PCW champion; I get paid that much more.  It’s not because of the love of the sport.  It’s because I get paid!”

Suave is still in disbelief that Daniel-San joined the dark side and the Republican Establishment.  There was no comment back from PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I).

MATCH #1- PCW Women’s Title Match
Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK)
vs.
PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) w/Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)

Jones didn’t wait and immediately took a side headlock on KRC.  KRC tried to whip her to the ropes but The Eskimo Queen decked her with a shoulder block.  KRC hit a dropkick and took Jones down.  She grabbed the leg and looked for a Figure Four.  Jones stuck her big boot in KRC’s back and kicked her into the ropes.  KRC came back out and Jones nailed a belly to belly suplex and made the cover for a pin.   KRC kicked out at two!…

…Jones lifted KRC for the Eskimo Pieface.  KRC slid out and rolled from the ring!  KRC with a baseball slide!!  Jones swatted her away.  Emily List from behind with a forearm to the head of the Eskimo Queen!  KRC climbed to the top rope and came off with a missile dropkick!!  Here comes Palin!  She raced around the ring and got ambushed by Code Pink.  Palin on the floor.  Emily List hit some kicks to the chest.  Code Pink walked over to Palin…GLITTER BOMB!

Jones back in the ring.  She ducked a KRC right hand and rolled her up.   Code Pink hopped into the ring and…GLITTER BOMB to the Eskimo Queen.  KRC grabbed the blinded Jones and hit a German suplex.  Jones on the mat.  KRC kicked her in the head!   KRC covered…1…2…3.

WINNER @9:25 AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (D)

KRC rolled the groggy Jones from the ring.  List and Code Pink drug Palin into the ring and put her into the corner for some more chest kicks.  They moved Palin up to the top turnbuckle and hit a doubleteam Superplex.  Then this appeared on the screen…

Suave: “Great.  A movie about the 2008 election by Hollywood, who hates Sarah Palin.  Biased anyone?”

Video: “Game Change,” the full-length trailer « Hot Air

The Trailer For HBO’s Game Change Depicts Sarah Palin ‘On The …

HBO’s Sarah Palin-bashing “Game Change” trailer | Mofo Politics

Code Pink and List continued to berate Palin while in the back, the Republicans debated what to do about it.

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) wanted to run in and stop the left wing spectacle.  But PCW Champion  Daniel-San (R), his advisor/manager John Creese, and Republican leadership made it clear that Scott wasn’t to do so.

Suave: “And the Republican Establishment won’t lift a finger to help her because they don’t like her either.  She’s screwed.”

Finally, The Tea Party: Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay ran out to break up the mauling.

In the Democratic locker room, KRC, Code Pink, and Emily List was given a hero’s welcome by the Left Wing/Progressive Elitists.

In the Republican locker room, the establishment shrugged and moved on to other business.

MATCH #2- PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
TV Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim and Kourtney)
vs.
Dave the Mechanic (AmerHeartland) w/Tequila Sheila

Bobby Bare’s ‘Pour Me Another Tequila Sheila’ played and out came the challenger Dave the Mechanic and his valet, cocktail waitress Tequila Sheila.

Chism puts a pair of designer gloves on so he won’t have to put his hands on the ‘ordinary’ Dave.

Chism hits the Hollywood Blockbuster over four minutes into the match and makes quick work of Dave the Mechanic.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TV CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @ 4:40

After the match, Chism threw Tequila Sheila out of the ring and continued to attack Dave the Mechanic.  ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) finally came to Dave’s defense.

Then Scott went on and lashed out at the Republican Establishment.  He called Palin a victim of the abject slime pit, win at all cost mentality that our politics have become. Scott added that anyone who once had a 70-80% positive rating in her state and knocked off an incumbent Republican governor with ethics problem isn’t dumb.

Kevin Scott: “It’s bad enough that the Democrats/Left Wing Elitists are now using their Hollywood allies to further trash Sarah Palin in their movies…(see Game Change.)  What’s clear is that the Republican Establishment didn’t want her either and she’s getting it from both sides now.”

Scott then stunned the crowd by quitting the Republicans.  ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) ran out and attacked Scott for attacking the Hollywood Left and they brawled all the way to the back.

Suave then pondered who would wrestle for Mitt Romney in the Florida Four Way Dance.  We’d find out soon enough.

MAIN EVENT- FLORIDA FOUR WAY DANCE
K-Roy (R)- Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R)- Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Jim Schmidt (R)- Ron Paul (R-TX)

The ring announcer paused and everyone looked at the ramp.  First out, the PCW Champion Daniel-San (R), John Creese and his Cobra Cons.  The crowd booed the PCW Champion unmercifully as the group headed down the ramp.  Next out, the leader of the Republicans Rance Priebus.  Priebus took the microphone and announced for ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney…

Yamamoto Tanaka
HT: 6′ 9″ WT: 350, HOME: Nagano, Japan
FIN: Japanese Super Destroyer

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Tanaka came to the ring and eliminated Schmidt and Richardson in short order.  K-Roy put up a fight but Tanaka hit the Japanese SuperDestroyer and won at the 6:20 mark.

WINNER:  Yamamoto Tanaka

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After the match, Tanaka shook hands with Priebus, Priebus handed him a briefcase full of cash, cementing Tanaka’s move to the Republicans.

TOWANDA – While Bradford County has experienced extensive gas drilling for a few years, what will it be like after the drilling has gone on for decades?

The three Bradford County commissioners and other local officials had a chance to get a sense of what could happen when they traveled last week to participate in a two-day conference in Lea County, N.M.

Lea County’s economy had been based for decades on natural gas production, although in the last decade its economy has diversified to include other forms of energy, such as nuclear, solar, and wind, the Bradford County commissioners said.

The conference, which was titled “Shale Gas & Conventional Gas: From Pennsylvania to New Mexico,” discussed the issues surrounding the development of shale gas using Lea County, N.M., and Bradford County, Pa., as case studies, according to the Economic Development Corporation of Lea County, which co-sponsored the conference.

Lea County’s population is about the same size as Bradford County’s, but its economy is dependent solely on energy production, Bradford County Commissioner Daryl Miller said.

The Bradford County commissioners discussed the trip at the commissioners’ meeting on Thursday, and both commissioners Doug McLinko and Mark Smith said it was worthwhile to travel to New Mexico.

McLinko said the trip reinforced for him the belief that Bradford County needs to do more to be ready to take advantage of opportunities to bring long-term jobs to the county, such as the planned Moxie Energy gas-fired electric power plant in Asylum Township. The Moxie Energy plant will bring a significant number of long-term jobs to the county, he said.

“They (Lea County officials) are very aggressive with their (economic) development (efforts)” to keep and attract long-term jobs, he said, adding that Lea County needed to broaden the base of their economy so that they were not tied to the ups and downs of the natural gas industry.

Among the measures that Lea County has taken are to purchase and lease thousands of acres of land, and Lea County is bringing infrastructure to that land, such as municipal water and electrical service, in an effort to attract industry to locate on the property, McLinko said. By controlling those thousands of acres of land, Lea County can offer attractive terms to the businesses that consider moving there, said Bradford County Economic Development Manager Lauren Hotaling, who also attended the conference.

McLinko said he does not want Bradford County to buy or lease land to attract businesses. But he said that townships, boroughs, and private property owners in Bradford County need to take steps to make sure there is land available for businesses or industry to move to, and that that land is ready with the infrastructure they need, such as municipal water and sewer, as well as any zoning provisions.

“When you get an opportunity for development, you can’t lag behind, because we are in competition with other states,” he said.

However, Hotaling said one problem with attracting businesses and industry to Bradford County is that there is a limited area in the county that has the kind of infrastructure that many large businesses are looking for, such as municipal water and municipal sewer.

And in the locations where municipal water and sewer exists or will soon exist, such as Route 6 in Wysox Township, the land is expensive to buy, she said.

There is even a lack of natural gas distribution lines in Bradford County that could supply these large businesses, she said.

Just as is the case in Bradford County, hotels in Lea County are used by workers in the energy extraction industry, namely gas and oil drilling, Hotaling said.

But Lea County has secured a use for its hotels which will buffer them against the ups and downs in gas and oil drilling. Specifically, Lea County has become a training center for Homeland Security, she said. The training has resulted in the construction of three or four additional hotels in Lea County, she said.

Hotaling also said that New Mexico’s state budget is heavily dependant on revenue from the gas and oil industry.

The gas and oil industry provides over 26 percent of New Mexico’s state funds, she said.

New Mexico has a state severance tax on gas and oil, she said. New Mexico also gets a significant amount of revenue from lease bonuses and royalties on state-owned land, she said.

Among the local officials who traveled to the conference were state Rep. Tina Pickett, Progress Authority Executive Director Tony Ventello, and Mark Madden of Penn State Cooperative Extension.

Bradford County paid the airfare to the conference for the three Bradford County commissioners, according to Bradford County Fiscal Director Joan Sanderson.

The Progress Authority paid for lodging and meals for the three Bradford County commissioners while they were in New Mexico, Hotaling said.

James Loewenstein can be reached at (570) 265-1633; or email: jloewenstein@thedailyreview.com.