FILE – In this Feb. 26, 2015 file photo, then-House Speaker John Boehner of Ohio speaks during a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington. Boehner’s rhetorical takedown of Sen. Ted Cruz, a presidential candidate and fellow Republican, has popped the cork off a bottle bubbling with bitter GOP recriminations. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)

Former House Speaker John Boehner, proclaiming that his views on marijuana have evolved, has announced he is leaving his lobbying gig for a seat on the board of Acreage Holdings, a marijuana company.

I’m joining the board of #AcreageHoldings because my thinking on cannabis has evolved. I’m convinced de-scheduling the drug is needed so we can do research, help our veterans, and reverse the opioid epidemic ravaging our communities. @AcreageCannabis https://t.co/f5i9KcQD0W

— John Boehner (@SpeakerBoehner) April 11, 2018

Right there I have just put a platoon of writers at The Onion out of work.

Via Politico:

Acreage Holdings, one of the nation’s largest cannabis corporations, said Wednesday that Boehner and former Massachusetts Gov. Bill Weld were appointed to its board of advisers. Weld was the running mate of Libertarian Party presidential nominee Gary Johnson in 2016 and has long supported loosening federal regulations on marijuana.

Acreage founder and CEO Kevin Murphy said appointing Boehner and Weld “will help shape the course of this nascent but ascendant industry.”

“Acreage has a mission to make cannabis available to any patient who can benefit from safe and reliable access,” Murphy said in a statement. “The addition of Speaker Boehner and Governor Weld to our Board will lead to even greater access for patients by changing the conversation overnight.”

Boehner’s endorsement of a shift in federal policy on marijuana comes as the Trump administration has moved to stifle the proliferation of marijuana decriminalization and legalization efforts in various U.S. states.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions in January rescinded an Obama-era policy aimed at paving the way for states to further legalize marijuana as part of an anticipated crackdown on the drug.

In announcing their appointments on Wednesday, Boehner and Weld expressed hope that increasing access to medical marijuana use could bolster health care remedies for veterans. The pair of former politicians in a joint statement questioned the Department of Veterans Affairs’ refusal to offer the drug “as an alternative to the harmful opioids that are ravishing our communities.”

I woke up in a world where John Boehner is selling weed. I don't understand life anymore.

— Kara Calavera (@KaraCalavera) April 11, 2018

Have fun with this one.