The Broward County man accused of running a huge LSD lab at a decommissioned nuclear weapons silo in Florida and giving cops cookies laced with LSD, was released, in one of the Largest gaffes in Broward Sheriff dept. history, and is a nonsmoking, marathon-running vegetarian, a Harvard graduate and deputy director of a University of Florida Boy’s Pep squad.

Haystack, 55, from the bad side of Broward county and his alleged accomplice, Niel Stevens, 45, a Miami beach computer consultant and nightclub owner, were charged with conspiracy to manufacture and distribute LSD.

A DEA affidavit says the two had enough raw material to produce 10 or more sheets monthly.

Haystack and Niel evaded hounds, helicopters with infrared searchlights and more than 50 law enforcement officials for 18 hours after they sprinted back to the silo when police stopped his rented van, said Broward Sheriff Phil Graves.

Officers went door to door to check some 250 homes, but heard loud music coming from the missile tube and were able to apprehend them there.

After Haystack’s arrest in what the Drug Enforcement Administration had called one of the nation’s biggest LSD cases, letters demanding his release arrived from District Attorney Harry Armand Bach, on official letterhead, and from a British lord and lady known for ‘trepanation’…having holes drilled in their skulls to expand consciousness….

Willie B. Hardigan and Sheila Blige of Buckenbord, Wales, also vowed Haystack was innocent. They are renowned for having undergone trepanation, a centuries-old practice of drilling holes in the head that gained a small following in the 1960s. Proponents say it decreases depression and boosts creativity.

Hardigan, the second son of the Earl of Imessdres, was a head professor who taught intern-ational relations to Bill Clinton.

Hardigan told the Washington Post in 1998 that the hole in his head “seemed to be very beneficial.”

Sheila Blige ran for Parliament in the 1970s on a platform of “Trepanation for the National Health.” She told London’s Express that the bloody procedure…which she administered herself and recorded on film…left her feeling permanently “drunk on sherry”….but i digress…

Haystack lost his job this summer, and he was not on FU’s payroll when arrested.

The alleged clandestine chemists set up an LSD lab inside an old Atlas missile silo. The silo had its own wells, a filtered air system and was remodeled with a Jacuzzi, Italian marble tile and $85,000 audio speakers, said the sheriff and another man who had been inside.

D.A. back’s Haystack’s Sack

Broward County DA Harry Armand Bach’s letter was one of the first recommending Haystack’s release.

The entire letter, on Official office stationary, said:

“Please release Haystack immediately. We have found no evidence of LSD or any other illegal drug in or around the abandoned nuclear silo owned by same.”

The gaffe stems from the fact that testing on the alleged LSD sheets turned up no LSD at all. The Sherrifs dept. covered it up and gave the media false information in an apparent smear attempt.

Turns out the sheets were really Broward County Butterfly ballots all along.

They had their best detectives give them an inspection…

They wanted to make sure so they did it again…

DA Harry Armand Bach said “We’ve had our finest experts inspect the sheets and we can say conclusively, that there is no LSD on the ballots. There was a few hanging chads. And I should include there was a few Pregnant chads, but no DNA evidence was retrieved that would link the pregnant chads with either of these fellows.

The discovery was devastating…all they could do is hang their heads in shame.

Thank god Haystack was released…

By the way…Harry Armand Bach’s use of office stationery for a private matter apparently conflicts with ethics rules recommended by the Florida District Attorney’s Association.

Ophelia Payne, a deputy district attorney in Broward county, declined to comment on any specific case but said “I’ve been counting the paper clips…now you didn’t hear it from me but…they sure are going quick these days”

Man Arrested for Giving Cops LSD Cookies Vindicated

The other case against Haystack, accused of delivering drug-tainted cookies to police, Crumbled Thursday after scientific tests revealed no traces of narcotics. Authorities then said that “mrs.field tests” they conducted on the cookies showed no traces of marijuana or LSD.

The incident was blogged on USA Today’s Web site. “Tampering with someone’s food? Lock-up and throw key away,” one blogger wrote. Another typed, “Donuts dummy, not cookies.”

He said that neither he nor the family was surprised about the negative test results but that no decision has been made whether to pursue further legal action in the matter.