Defending the Octomom: Why she’s being shafted, and why it matters


Man, I hate pop culture.  I hate even more that the news has become little more than a celebrity-maker.  Take, for example, the case of Media-manufactured celeb, Nadya “Octomom” Suleman.  I have wanted, with everything in me, to avoid the whole “octomom” controversy.  I have felt — and still largely do — that this woman’s life and children are just none of our damned business.  Unfortunately, after being force-fed this woman’s story by most news outlets (has anyone noticed that the news has become much like pop radio?  In order to get to what you actually want, you have to listen to minute after minute of cheap, manufactured crap), I’ve started to notice that her story does indeed effect us all.  And in ways many people might not expect.

In the latest chapter of this soap opera, officials at the hospital caring for Suleman’s children have decided not to release her children to her, because they feel her house isn’t ready for them.  Let me repeat:  the hospital has decided not to release a woman’s children, not because of pediatric reasons, but because they, the hospital, feels that her house isn’t adequately prepared for them.

This episode represents the latest round of officials and individuals declaring Suleman’s unfitness to make decisions for her own kids.  There’s just one problem with this: legally, Suleman hasn’t done anything wrong.  There is no recent history of her being deemed unfit as a parent, no situations in which child protection authorities have removed children from her care.  All she’s done is have eight more kids. 

You may think she was irresponsible.  You may think she’s not that bright.  Doesn’t matter.  Doesn’t make a damned bit of difference what you, I, the hospital, the county, or Barack Obama Himself thinks or feels about Nadya Suleman as a person, or as a parent.  These are her kids.  The hospital has the responsibility to make sure they’re healthy before they leave the hospital.  Once they’re fit to leave, that should be it.  Instead, they make her jump through hoops — to get her own children home.

Okay, you say.  So what?  This doesn’t effect my life at all, and anyway, maybe it’s best for the children

Wrong, and arguably on both counts.  The Suleman story represents a great mirror into the mind of our nation.  Nationally, both “qualified” and “unqualified” pundits are weighing in, condemning this woman for choosing to have more children.  Maybe they’re right; maybe not.  Doesn’t matter.  They publicly worry about the drain this woman’s growing family will be on the community because of Welfare, and then, with the same breath, they foam at the mouth demanding that nobody provide for her and her family through charity.

Then, after being roundly demonized on the public square — while recovering from delivering eight babies, by the way — she is asked to tell her side of the story.  Fox News and other outlets then demonize her further… because she wants to be paid to tell her story.  “Anybody who pays this woman is a sucker,” they grouse.  Well, folks, I hate to say it, but if it were me, and the media smacked me around publicly while I was recovering from major surgery, I might just take the same tack she did:  Screw you people… if you want my story, you can help me out financially.

Why do I bring this stuff up; what does it have to do with what’s happening now?  Simply, I’m reminding you, A, of how she got here and, B, that she is a human being.  An American.  Suleman is me, and she is you.  Your personal opinions don’t — and shouldn’t — have any bearing on whether or how she raises her children.  You wouldn’t want public opinion determining your own family decisions, I assume. 

And yet, demonized and unpopular as she is, we find that the same people who would hate to have others judge their own decisions — and then legally sanction them for those actions — applaud when the same is done to Suleman.  Conservatives cannot allow anyone — the hospital, the government, or even private citizens — to violate Suleman’s right to run her family as she sees fit.  Not even if we disagree with her choices.  Not if we want to keep our own rights.


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When I am paying

red4ever (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 2:29PM EST (link)

to support those 14 kids, you bet I get to judge. If she were supporting these kids herself, it would be nobody’s business. But, if you expect everyone else to support your children — which she admitted doing — then everybody else gets to comment on your choices.

Also, the hospital is not sending the babies home because they need special care. They are premature and have special needs. it would be irresponsible for the hospital to send the children to a home that could not care for them. Therefore, they care keeping the babies in the hospital where they can receive the proper care and stay healthy.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.
Dante

To the first part, there is SOME agreement from me...

randy streu (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 2:38PM EST (link)

to the second, not quite. News story after new story has detailed that this is more along the lines of social work than health related.

 

Also, you bring up something I was going to mention, but didn't... don't remember why not, now.

randy streu (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 2:47PM EST (link)

But I was going to mention how this also largely illustrates the problems inherent in government bailouts — both corporate (AIG) and personal (welfare). It puts The People — or at least The Government — in a position of authority over a company or individual. Which is not a position The People, or The Government, belong in.

Which is why I only PARTIALLY agreed with your first statement. I recognize that level of authority as too dangerous to want or believe I should have any part of it, even if a (VERY VERY SMALL) portion of money I actually paid in goes to pay for it (as against my will as that may be).

A kowalki... (man, how I could cut down on my commenting if only we could edit our comments!)

randy streu (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 3:01PM EST (link)

you have me thinking, red4ever: you’re right. You get to judge and have your opinion matter — to the extent that you, personally, are being held financially responsible for Nadya Suleman and her family.

Now, lessee… we have whatever amount of money she gets from the government (pretty sure that’ll be under a million, yes?)… and figure how many millions of taxpayers are in this country… now divide those two numbers. THAT’s the amount your outrage at her life choices is worth.

Well,

red4ever (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 10:30PM EST (link)

how about we agree that I get to at least express an opinion. That is free speech. And she put herself out there. She was not doing those interviews to “defend” herself. It was her plan all along to have a bunch of kids and then get famous for it.

Now, I feel for those babies with her as a mom. But, I have no sympathy whatsoever for the mother who DELIBERATELY put herself in this situation.

14 kids, no dad. What is wrong with this picture?

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.
Dante

Oh, Come on.... How can you know that?

randy streu (Diary) Wednesday, March 18th at 6:44AM EST (link)

“It was her plan all along to have a bunch of kids and then get famous for it.” A lot of people take actions I don’t agree with; that doesn’t give me insight into their motivation for those actions. That she got famous says more about the media than it does about her. The media loves multiples, and ALWAYS goes after stories about them. Are you honestly going to tell me that every mother who ever had (through medical means) more than four children, is a great big media whore?

Even I’m not that cynical; and that’s saying something.

But my point remains as it has been: whatever her motivations, it just doesn’t matter. She hasn’t committed a crime; she deserves not to be treated as a criminal.

As you may read below, I’m not saying people aren’t going to have an opinion on it, or that they have the “right” to that opinion… what they don’t have is the right to crusade against this person.

How do I know it???

red4ever (Diary) Wednesday, March 18th at 2:14PM EST (link)

She said so. She said she wanted to have a multiple birth so people would give her donations.

This is not a “whoops” pregnancy where the condom failed. She deliberately implanted 8 embryos in the hopes that several would take. This is not a case of someone having trouble conceiving or implantation issues. Everytime she was implanted, the embro properly developed. In her case, TWO embryos is the recommended number of implantations. But, she and her doctor conspired to impant more than the recommended number while aware of the consequences. All for the attention a large family gets. All without the resources to care for these kids herself.

that is my main problem. If you can support them yourself, have all you want. But, children are not accessories to your baggage. Do not have children in the expectation of others providing for them.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.
Dante

You'll have to point me to the video of that.

randy streu (Diary) Wednesday, March 18th at 2:25PM EST (link)

“She said so. She said she wanted to have a multiple birth so people would give her donations.”

Or, at least an article.

Something. ‘cuz honestly, this is the very first time I’ve heard of that (though, as I’ve said before, I’ve actively tried to avoid the story).

“But, she and her doctor conspired to impant more than the recommended number while aware of the consequences. All for the attention a large family gets.” Again, you’re leveling some serious charges here without the benefit of a link. I’m interested in seeing them if you have them. Otherwise it’s gossip.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What offends me most about the octomom story

janis (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 2:54PM EST (link)

is that it is along the same lines as the Anna Nicole Smith saga, the Chandra Levy story, and the Jon Benet Ramsey tragedy. All of these are maybe worth reporting initially, but not over and over with no end in sight. They are being used to distract us from the fact that most of these “news” outlets are not reporting on the things we really need to know.

You know, stuff like what Russia, Iran, Venezuela, China, and Al Qaeda are doing. It’s just like the summer before Sept. 11th, 2001. All shiny objects, no substance.

I agree...

randy streu (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 2:58PM EST (link)

very much so. But where I really get irritated is in the Public’s willingness to remove her rights. How often have you heard people talking about “taking away her kids”?

That sure as hell ain’t the Conservative position. That’s where I’m coming from on this.

But you’re right, exactly… it would be wonderful to hear real news instead of hours of this stuff.

Yeah, I know, randy, it isn't the conservative postion.

janis (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 3:05PM EST (link)

And perhaps in a year when so many weren’t losing jobs and cars and houses, the public and press would be a bit more sympathetic. But it really is galling to know that she and an unethical doctor went through with this when she was already overwhelmed with the first 6 kids.

It’s not the conservative position to have at least 13 more kids than you can afford, both in terms of money and in terms of emotional ability to care for them. I don’t advocate taking her kids away from her, but, like many parents, it doesn’t seem at all likely that these kids will get an adequate amount of care to fulfill their potential. It’s a struggle to do it for two or four these days, but 14? That’s almost impossible unless you have a very strong family structure and two parents utterly committed to doing it right. She has neither.

agreed: not an intelligent choice.

randy streu (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 3:13PM EST (link)

and I’m not saying not saying people aren’t going to be annoyed. Personally, if it weren’t for the freedom issues at play here, I wouldn’t care one way or the other. I’d have rather ignored the story completely. (Believe me, when my wife and I were struggling to have kids, stories about deadbeats having children pissed me off to no end.)

But it IS a freedom issue, and my point is, we need to take note of it. As annoyed as you may be.,.. as wrong as you may think she is, it is NOT okay to advocate taking her kids; it is NOT okay for anybody to tell her how to raise them — UNLESS she is found to be in some way criminall negligent re: their welfare. ‘sall I’m saying.

And I agree. Quite honestly, it wouldn't bother me in the

janis (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 3:30PM EST (link)

slightest if people who wanted to become parents had to take parenting courses ahead of time as a requirement. I’m admittedly biased, as my two very young grandchildren have two selfish and immature parents who don’t deserve the beautiful little kids that God gave them. And then there are people like you and your wife who long to have children, would make great parents and have all kinds of problems having them.

Sometimes life just sucks like a Hoover.

I've always wondered why you have to pass a test

Praying (Diary) Wednesday, March 18th at 12:09AM EST (link)

to drive a car, but a teenage girl can become a parent simply by standing downwind from a teenage boy. Well, OK, I exaggerate, but there are a lot of people out there raising children who really, probably shouldn’t. But the message I got from the post was that no matter what your opinion is of the particular Octomom situation, we are on the edge of a very slippery slope – some would say free-fall, of government intervention in all things. I saw on Fox last night that schools were going to start inspecting lunches kids bring – to make sure there were no fatty snacks. Now, admittedly, there are a ton of over weight kids (no pun intended) but does the government REALLY have the right to tell you what to feed your child? Aren’t there more important things for the schools to be doing? Like teaching the kids math, or social studies (as opposed to social justice and indoctrination).

What happened to family and community and churches and all that helping us raise our kids? It works for Janis’ grandkids – mom and dad may be too busy, but thank goodness they have a wonderful grandma who loves them and cherishes them. And whom I bet would keep big bad Daddy Government from telling her what she can and can’t do with them!

No!!!11!1!!1!1! The Bilderbergers are coming

Americans tend to forgive a multitude of Government sins, so long as they are covered under the mantle of "it's for the children"

randy streu (Diary) Wednesday, March 18th at 6:57AM EST (link)

And honestly, I think this speaks well of the intentions of most Americans.

But you have it exactly right. Once we start allowing “childrens’ welfare” to be based upon anything more subjective than, “are they starving to death; are they being left alone before being able to take care of themselves; and are they getting beaten up/molested at home,” then we start taking responsibility away from parents and giving it to the government. And that opens up a whole can of worms that, should that subjective eye be turned to themselves, most Americans would find very disturbing.

The strength of Conservatives has always been our recognition that freedom for one is freedom for all; and when you start playing with the rights of a even a single person, you potentially mess with the rights of all of us.

We forget that sometimes (actually, more and more, lately), and we shouldn’t.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

My wife thinks these kids should be taken away

Vegas_Rick (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 3:21PM EST (link)

I told her that this woman is obviously mentally incompetent to take care of these 14 children. But, I asked her, if the government has the right to decide she is not fit to have children, even though she has not yet committed any crime, what if they decided that blonde German immigrants shouldn’t aren’t fit to have kids? She’s a blonde, German immigrant.

She was indignant. I haven’t done anything to make the government think I can’t raise kids.

Says you, I said. Once you let the government set standards for parenthood, they can set them any way they want.

“God is great, beer is good and people are crazy.”- Billy Currington

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” Calvin Coolidge.

Exactly right.

randy streu (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 3:23PM EST (link)

“Once you let the government set standards for parenthood, they can set them any way they want.”

This is exactly what people need to understand about this issue.

 
 

Good diary

tcgeol (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 3:31PM EST (link)

I agree with you, Randy. Its a pretty sickening story, but she is still their mother. Barring documented abuse, the government has no say in the matter.

Just your typical bitter gun- and God-clinger

Even the Left admits we’re Right

Abuse is documented...

fmaidment (Diary) Wednesday, March 18th at 7:48PM EST (link)

…if you have children you already cannot afford, then choose to have more (by in vitro, no less!), then you’re guilty of child abuse in my book.

The basic premise of your argument is correct, but the devil is in the details. No, we shouldn’t set policy by exceptional cases, but neither should we allow those exceptional cases any leniency in our analysis.

Nadya Suleman is irresponsible and her abuse of the “progressive” welfare system should be all we need to criticize and admonish her.

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“I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.”
– - Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791

That is stupidity and bad parenting

tcgeol (Diary) Thursday, March 19th at 1:19AM EST (link)

which certainly aren’t commendable, but don’t qualify as child abuse. Her abuse of the welfare system needs to be addressed. Her children still belong with her.

Just your typical bitter gun- and God-clinger

Even the Left admits we’re Right

 
 
 

randy

mom2oneson (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 4:55PM EST (link)

There can be a variety of reasons why they don’t release and they are often ridiculous. They seem to target young single black mothers. If a young single black mother can’t be reached by phone for a night even the patient care staff (nursing) makes an issue over it. Affluent white older mothers don’t get the same treatment, they will give “reasons” why she can’t be reached. Now the young black mother may have no transportation or family to watch her other children but she still tries to make it there. Just being black and poor is enough they call in social services for intervention. This is one area where the poor and/or black are discriminated against and it’s very unfair.
This is sadly very common. Often the NICU social worker is often a lesbian with no children and late 20s early 30s that makes the determination to call child protective services CPS. I don’t care if they are lesbians or not but I wish they had some grandmothers or women with grown kids working these jobs that understand mothering is not about being white with a house in the suburbs. It’s really sad. CPS gets custody when the child is discharged without any type of hearing for the mother at all. CPS interviews the mother, the mother has no lawyer or anything, she might be in a night gown pumping breast milk not really prepared for an interview or up all night, very sleep deprived and so forth. Unless the mother/baby are addicts, it’s all hearsay (I think that is the right word when it’s just what someone says) based on what the patient care staff picks up here and there on the mother’s circumstances. The interview is just a formality.

Good diary. CPS is out of control all over the country.

 

good diary, recommended

Beaglescout (Diary) Tuesday, March 17th at 6:53PM EST (link)

I have thought for a while that the reason this story got so much traction from the left is that they are against having so many kids. They are anti-family, anti-life, and they get mad about giving money to cute children. Lefties would rather give money to convicts and politicians, but I repeat myself.

Families of 14 kids were not unusual a hundred years ago, and people were a lot poorer then than they are now. I think that Ms. Suleiman will be able to do a fine job taking care of her soccer team (11 plus 3 on the bench) given the help she’ll get from her parents. She just needs to learn how to keep her spending to a budget and stop trying to look like Brangelina.

“A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one.”

–Alexander Hamilton
 

I agree.

Rod_Patrick (Diary) Friday, March 20th at 9:31AM EST (link)

If you can get the best from the government benefits, then get the most out of it.

Go Octomom! What about Deca-mom next time around? He he.