Today we salute you, Mr. Columnist-And-Talk-Show-Host-Palin-Pesterer

[Singers: "Mr. Columnist-And-Talk-Show-Host-Palin-Pesterer"]

Even though you insist that you’re a conservative, your tireless attacks on all things Palin keep liberal Democrats feeing warm and fuzzy inside with self-righteous elitism.

[Singers: "Self-righteous elitism"]

Meticulously, you pile nit upon pick – nit, pick, nit, pick – until, behold! You’ve made a mighty mountain out of a minor molehill.

[Singers: "No fed requirement for a diploma"]

You showed that teenage dad that he’ll have to find another job to support his family!

[Singers: "That'll show him.. and those Palins"]

You’ve mastered the art of insinuation, insinuating that Gov. Palin intervened to help her future son-in-law get that job.

[Singers: "His dad is the one who got him the job, Dan"]

So crack open an ice cold Dud Light, mister. And sleep well tonight knowing that again, you stuck the Palins in the eye, and you ran your sword through a teenage father to do it!

[Singers: "Mr. Columnist-And-Talk-Show-Host-Palin-Pesterer"]

- JP