That’s a great RPG system for satirical pantheons, in my personal opinion.

What? Oh, just reacting to the ChangeRing, which is apparently going to be the big thing among the hip (or boss, or whatever the current buzzword meaning “cool” is this nanosecond) crowd. It’s supposed to be a keychain – and if there’s a Fashionable Cause that they missed in its construction and distribution, it’s not for lack of trying; it’s a real Democratic National Convention Menu Guideline of a list, let me tell you – but the pictures are showing people wearing around their necks, so I’m treating this as the quasi-religious symbol that it’s designed to be.

Seriously, the designers themselves say that it “was designed to show the symbol for change (the Delta) in a unique wearable item that could be displayed in a subtle but powerful way by supporters of Barack Obama and change in general.” Admittedly, it’s actually two Deltas connected by a Parenthesis, but that’s ad copy for you. Anyway, you have to buy two for twenty bucks and have them send one to a friend; then, once you register the ChangeRing (need to give them your name, cell phone number and email) you can buy more ChangeRings for seven bucks and send ‘em to more friends. Plus, there are charities that benefit! No, they can’t tell you who they are. And, sorry, but this is a for-profit group not affiliated with the Obama campaign, so no discounts.

Personally, I hope to God that this scheme takes off: I would dearly love to be able to spot some of these people from ten or twenty feet off, and this sounds like it’d do the trick nicely. The original email I got forwarded indicated that certain celebrities had been “reported” as wearing these things; I think that I can sum up the list nicely by saying that the first one on it was Susan Sarandon. What the makers of the ChangeRing really need to do, though, is sit down and examine the sales history of their industry leader. I refer, of course, to the Roman Catholic Church, which is frankly the absolute gold standard when it comes to relics. How much would an Obaman pay for a ChangeRing steeped in, say, the tears of Michelle? Or one that incorporated a flake of wood from Blessed Obama’s first desk? Yes, quite a lot. They should get cracking on that.

Mind you, in my day youngsters contented themselves with decent alternate religions and mysticism, like Buddhism, Qabbala, Grunge, and Starbucks. None of this neo-Messianic, quasi-Gnostic nonsense…

Moe Lane

PS: One semi-serious suggestion? If you simply must buy one of these things, don’t bother using it as an apotropaic symbol against conservatives and/or Republicans. We’ll simply mock you severely for it.