Obama has done plenty to deserve this honor and to join ranks gloriously stocked with giants of Nobel-ity like Yasir Arafat and Jimmy Carter. The fact that you cannot recognize this is a testament to your rank partisanship, which is obviously fueled by your homophobic racism.

Did not Barack Obama . . . in less than one year as president, mind you . . . bring together a black race-baiting, elitist demagogue and a white police officer for a beer at the White House? Doesn’t anyone here remember the Beer Summit? Joe Biden was even there! I think there were pretzels on hand too. That summit, in my opinion (and the Nobel Committee’s opinion) did more for race relations . . . throughout the whole world . . . than anything Martin Luther King ever accomplished or could have even dreamed! That’s peace, baby . . . that’s peace!

Then, there was that fly incident. Did you see how fast Obama was! All that B-ball paid off. The man’s an Adonis! And, he used his incredible agility to do what? Serve mankind, you dolts! He. Got. Rid. Of. A. PEST! The fewer pests there are, the more peace there is! Get it, geniuses? It’s simple math!

Barack Obama was also in an America-hating church for 20 years . . . “God damn America” . . . that’s what the Nobel committee says too (only in German while wearing lederhosen, so it looks and sounds kinda funny).

Barack Obama, as part of his near incessant peace-making, wisely snubbed the National Christian Day of Prayer. Every Euro-weenie knows that white euro-centric, male-dominated Christianity brings the opposite of peace, which is peace-less-ness. You Americans just need to wise up like us Dhimmis here in Eurabia.

Barack Obama is the first US president to finally, as president (which counts more than waiting to do it as an ex-president!), show some humility . . . and I’m not speaking of the antiquated Christian virtue of humility, but of the groveling, boot-licking variety. You know, the kind that admits that you, dear delusional Americans, are inferior to us! American Exceptionalism brings much peace-less-ness and Barack Obama has begun to turn the tide on that in both word and deed. For example, bowing to the Saudi king was a nice touch.

Then, of course, there are those Tibetan radicals with their incorrigible leader, the Dalai Lama. President Obama’s strategy? Ignore the tyrant’s visit to Washington, D.C. and send a message to sweet, sugar daddy China that Barack likes your totalitarian stylings. Peace through oppression! Tiananmen, Ta-shmen-na-min, that’s old news! And yes, we know the Dalai Lama also received a peace prize, but that was before the age of Obama . . . even the Swiss can make a mistake now and then (not too often, mind you).

Barack Obama also recognizes that socialism is the path to peace . . . After all, he wisely chose communist Van Jones as a czar, and America was just too ignorant and Bible-thumping and RACIST to appreciate the wisdom behind Obama’s wise, sage-like, oracle-esque appointment. Maybe by term 4 or 5, you troglodyte Americans will wake up and smell the double mochachino latte.

Traditional families cause much peace-less-ness too and Barack Obama full well knows this. His backdoor introduction of radical homosexual ideology into the US public school system through safe school czar, Jennings, will serve to liberate Americans from the puritanical confines of the repressive traditional family. When you Free Willy, you usher lotsa peace . . . see the movie if you don’t believe me.

An elementary school’s already been named after him . . . there’s a growing body of Obama gospel music  . . . NEA artists have been inspired by Obama’s greatness . . . Naked Obama riding a unicorn paintings are becoming, thankfully, commonplace. For Obama’s sake people, he’s a community organizer, remember?!

So get with the program, citizens of the world! Barack Obama deserves this prize and you know it too . . . So there! . . . Take that! And, if you don’t agree, then guess what? Too bad and besides, your momma sews socks that smell!