Yes, the announcer of dawns has left the country, but will continue his eight year old streak of filing a column on, and related to, all holidays and other notable days.

The Sun rises three hours sooner here in the Azores, than in Dixie, so this will be a concise, yet informative post.

Despite the fact that I feel a bit foolish for risking bureaucratic snafus that could deny my re-entry into the Shining City on a Hill, I will deign to inform the anticipators of eastern sunrises of all things April foolish.

Who was the first April Fool?:

Eve

When was April Fools’ Day first celebrated?:

One year after Eve bit the apple

By Whom?:

Lucifer

Who will be the last April Fool?:

Lucifer

Largest group of April Fools in America today:

Tied: Prior Bush voters that stayed home or voted for Obama in 2008 and useful idiot pro-life democrats

What color should one wear on this day to capture the spirit of the occasion?:

Whatever color Al Gore wears

What is the official symbol of the day?:

a jackass

How can you know if someone is lying to you on April Fools’ Day?:

When the lips of lawyers not in the Azores, elected democrats in DC, Teleprompters of the United States, and cabinet members of TOTUS speaking about taxes owed, are moving

Enjoy the day, despite its extended suspense, and take comfort that from April 2, 2009 through March 31, 2010, only democrats will continue to celebrate foolishness.

Small comfort, but that’s all we got.

Mike DeVine’s Charlotte Observer, Examiner.com and Minority Report columns

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson

Originally published by Mike DeVine, Legal Editor for The Minority Report