Republican Purity Test


Please welcome guest columnist Frank J. Fleming of IMAO! Frank is here to share with us some thoughts concerning the proposed RNC “Purity Test.”

Some people at the RNC had the idea to make a list of ten Republican principles and you won’t receive RNC funding if you disagree with three or more of them. That sounds like a neat idea, and it’s not a litmus test, as you can pick any two you want to be a squish on.

In fact, it’s such a neat idea I’m coming up with a list of my own ten Republican principles:

(1) Punching hippies is a legal form of expression.

(2) The moon should be declared hostile and nuked.

(3) The average American should be armed like Neo from the lobby scene at all times.

(4) Nachos are awesome.

(5) The federal government needs to stop wasteful spending. Also, researching giant war robots and dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them is not wasteful.

(6) America owns Antarctica.

(7) It’s not good diplomacy unless the foreign leaders are kneeling before us.

(8) Vampires shouldn’t sparkle.

(9) The fact that we torture terrorists isn’t horrific and is actually kind of funny.

(10) Biggest problem facing our nation: Too many sissies.

If you disagree with one of them, the punishment is for everyone to look at you and yell, “What’s wrong with you!” If you disagree with two of them, you get beaten up after RNC meetings. If you disagree with three, you lose RNC funding. And if you disagree with four or more, Fred Thompson punches you in the face such that your head explodes.



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29 Comments Leave a comment

Where do I sign? nt

Aaron Gardner (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:24PM EST (link)

conform and celebrate diversity….or else!!!

“We’d be much better off if We The People had desired small government enough to keep it.” acat


I concur, where do I sign up

Richard Mullins (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:31PM EST (link)

I’m ready sign this besides we should always beat up the hippies.

Richard Phillip Mullins BlogThe Squash Satire SiteNews on Happy Jet Airlines
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Joe Biden is like a Decrepit Park owner with a Meth lab that happens to not only be a dealer but a user.

Let’s Bankrupt the Democratic paty. Make spend all the money to defend thier candidates.

 

Purity Test Is Genius

twally (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 9:19PM EST (link)

I guess i don’t deserve your support ha! Although I read the article and I agree with this concept and I love how they take into consideration what a great hero Reagen really was. “The full resolution’s at the link but here are the 10 bullet points. You need to say yes to eight if you want to get paid, per Reagan’s saying that anyone who agrees with him 80 percent of the time is his friend, not his opponent:” If you are a member of anything the organization does not have to submit to your ideas. Nor pay you if you disagree with major issues of the group.
I agree with legal immigration but what is a few bucks to an illegal to get a green card at least?

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill;

(2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run healthcare;

(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation;

(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check;

(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;

(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;

(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;

(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;

(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing, denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and

(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership

 
 

We will not tolerate squishes on #4. -nt

Leon H. Wolf (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:29PM EST (link)

————
We can’t stop here. This is bat country.

Seconded! NT

Pomme (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:35PM EST (link)

“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views” William F Buckley Jr.

 
 

I was kind of iffy on #2 ... till I remembered ...

spim Tuesday, November 24th at 3:32PM EST (link)

the the moon *started* it

it crashed into us FIRST … so I guess I understand

so I’m good on all 10

 

I don't think that's a serious list

RedBeard Tuesday, November 24th at 3:32PM EST (link)

We all know that Nachos are part of a commie plot.

Standard-bearer for grouchy curmudgeonry since, oh, 1975 or so.

Agree, sounds like amnesty to me. nt

mschmitt (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:34PM EST (link)

usque ad finem

 

I will ban you.

Leon H. Wolf (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:35PM EST (link)

And then I will sleep like a baby tonight.

Like a *baby*.

————
We can’t stop here. This is bat country.

Leon, I think you need to update your sigline...

Aaron Gardner (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:38PM EST (link)

Considering the recent CRU revelations. ;^)

conform and celebrate diversity….or else!!!

“We’d be much better off if We The People had desired small government enough to keep it.” acat


 

Don't get all macho on us now (nt)

Neil Stevens (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:42PM EST (link)

RS contributing editor, technical administrator, and “a hardy variety of crabgrass.”
Read the RedState Posting Rules

Unlikely Voter: Poll Analysis, Election Projection.

“I rejoice that America has resisted.” – William Pitt, the Elder

Oh come on. This was funny.

Neil Stevens (Diary) Wednesday, November 25th at 1:09AM EST (link)

Nothing?

RS contributing editor, technical administrator, and “a hardy variety of crabgrass.”
Read the RedState Posting Rules

Unlikely Voter: Poll Analysis, Election Projection.

“I rejoice that America has resisted.” – William Pitt, the Elder

 

Free the Nachos.

RedBeard Wednesday, November 25th at 7:15AM EST (link)

Nachos empowerment.

Standard-bearer for grouchy curmudgeonry since, oh, 1975 or so.

 
 
 

I believe we have people here...

wayneinnh (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:53PM EST (link)

I believe we have people here who order nachos through a clown’s head. And call it food.

Jon 14:6 –
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”

It’s not intellectual to believe we evolved from hydrogen gas.

 
 

I hear that Mark Kirk failed on at least 4

E Pluribus Unum (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:33PM EST (link)

Well, what I actually heard was that Fred Thompson punched him in the face.

Kill the Terrorists
Protect the Borders
Punch the Hippies h/t IMAO

 

Alright!

jdaman (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:41PM EST (link)

I love all ten! Where do I sign up?

“Status quo,” as you know, is Latin for “the mess we’re in”.

Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

 

I would revise numbers two and six...

H (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:45PM EST (link)

We own the moon. We should nuke Antarctica and show the world the true meaning of Global Warming.

Technically, it’s just quibbling. I wouldn’t push the issues to the point of being on the receiving end of an a$$ whooping.

 

I would have made them 15.

antisocial (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:46PM EST (link)

11>Bomb Iran
12>Kick UN out of US.
13>Revoke membership from that Useless Nations club.
14>Send Al Gore to Cuba on exile to enjoy fruits of socialism.
15>Special Social Empowerment Tax on all registered democrats.

I endorse the 10 that you listed.

Obama Doctrine – Boot On The Throat
—————————–
What is to be done?
——————————
No. You can’t – Moe Lane
——————————
The Emperor has no clothes!!!

I really like those new ones

Richard Mullins (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:49PM EST (link)

especially the one about a tax on leftist dems. With that, we could get out the defect and the debt in it’s entirety.

Richard Phillip Mullins BlogThe Squash Satire SiteNews on Happy Jet Airlines
Rmullins Pics
Rpmullins Twitter

Joe Biden is like a Decrepit Park owner with a Meth lab that happens to not only be a dealer but a user.

Let’s Bankrupt the Democratic paty. Make spend all the money to defend thier candidates.

 

Look, fi necessary, we can pare the list down to just US out of UN...

rcov092 (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 5:33PM EST (link)

and I vote Hell yes. Tired of every UN scam to try to separate us from our freedom, sovereignty or money.

Oil for Food
The remodel of the UN HQ
Man Made Global Warming
Treaty of the Sea
Treaty on the Rights of the Child.

Need i say more?

“Not One Red Dime for the NRSC or NRCC till they stop trying to elect liberals”

 
 

I think I'm good for funding...

mschmitt (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 3:51PM EST (link)

#11

Return to Revolution (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 4:05PM EST (link)

Its good for everyone when you spread the IMAO around

Out of hand Constitutional fetishist

 

Love me some IMAO...thanks Frank!

Tom Anderson (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 4:20PM EST (link)

Your list is as good as better than anything the RNC could ever come up with!

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
- Edmund Burke

 

What do you do to the sparkly hippies?

tankertodd (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 4:37PM EST (link)

Loves it.

———————————
The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race – Chief Justice Roberts

 

Add a couple:

notreallyrepublican (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 5:11PM EST (link)

No cooking your food unless you shot it yourself.

And feeding a child tofu should result in a jail sentence


I’m a conservative, not a Republican. If the GOP forgets about that, I’d be more then happy to vote third-party. Wouldn’t give me any less representation then I have now, and might give me more.

 

n/t

rec0n Tuesday, November 24th at 5:20PM EST (link)

http://hotair.com/archives/2009/11/24/celebrity-news-of-the-day-angelina-jolie-thinks-obamas-a-socialist-phony/

 

1 nitpick

throwback59 Tuesday, November 24th at 7:16PM EST (link)

We landed on the moon and planted the flag. It’s not hostile, IT’S OURS!!
If you want to nuke something there’s always France, or San Francisco.

5 [nt]

Bill S (Diary) Thursday, November 26th at 8:41AM EST (link)

“It’s such a fine line between stupid, and clever.” – David St. Hubbins

 
 

There's a potential problem with #2

Bham (Diary) Tuesday, November 24th at 9:30PM EST (link)

Our nuclear warheads are old enough that it’s not at all certain that they will detonate, if launched. And [guess who] has recently decided to scrap an ongoing program to update and modernize our arsenal. That decision makes a nice bookend with gutting missile defenses?

Bellinghamster