The White House
Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release
August 18, 2010

Executive Order — Classified National Security Information Programs for State, Local, Tribal, and Private Sector.

Sec. 1.1.  There is established a Classified National Security Information Program (Program) designed to safeguard and govern access to classified national security information shared by the Federal Government with State, local, tribal, and private sector (SLTPS) entities.

Sec.  1.2.  The purpose of this order is to ensure that security standards governing access to and safeguarding of classified material are applied in accordance with Executive Order 13526 of December 29, 2009 (“Classified National Security Information”), Executive Order 12968 of August 2, 1995, as amended (“Access to Classified Information”), Executive Order 13467 of June 30, 2008 (“Reforming Processes Related to Suitability for Government Employment, Fitness for Contractor Employees, and Eligibility for Access to Classified National Security Information”), and Executive Order 12829 of January 6, 1993, as amended (“National Industrial Security Program”).  Procedures for uniform implementation of these standards by SLTPS entities shall be set forth in an implementing directive to be issued by the Secretary of Homeland Security within 180 days of the date of this order, in consultation with affected executive departments and agencies (agencies), and with the concurrence of the Secretary of Defense, the Attorney General, the Director of National Intelligence, and the Director of the Information Security Oversight Office.

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Allow me to translate (and don’t think for one second I’m being snarky just to be funny – they had to have thought of this at some level):

Classified National Security Information To The Private Sector, state and local governments and tribal entities.

To the extent my administration will allow a private sector to exist, the following decree is hereby ordered:

All Republicans, Conservatives, Tea Party Members and Typical Bitter God-clinging Gun Owners’ identities are now compiled in a master list, broken out by state, county and municipality.

This set of documents is considered classified-top secret.

The private sector, all state and local governments along with tribal entities are hereby forbidden to employ and/or transact any business whatsoever with any and all persons on on the list.

Defining ‘transacting business’ includes operations at all retail entities, housing and or lodging facilities, state/local subsidies offered and other facilitators too numerous for listing here. Please see the federal register for the complete set of documentation. You will need your proof-of-Democrat Party registration for access to the files.

Failure to fully comply even once will result in immediate cessation of all federal funds, tax incentives and other federal offerings to you, along with full IRS audits for all violators (all audits retroactive to twenty-five years).

Barack Hussein Obama
President For Life

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Kenny Solomon
The framers of our Constitution knew that the government should never have a monopoly on force.  That’s why they articulated our God given right to self defense and ensured the right to keep and bear arms was written in our Bill of Rights.  Let’s not forget: George Washington didn’t use his right to free speech to defeat the British.   He shot them.