The real question comes down to this: which witch do we prefer? The adorable, cute “witch”, Christine, or that genuinely evil Wicked Witch of the West, Nancy Pelosi? Not to mention Hillary—no wait; technically Hillbabe’s a bitch, not a witch.

I realize that Madame Blavatsky, er, Pelosi is not on the ballot in Delaware. But an O’Donnell win in that state would amount to a deadly splash of water on the Wicked Witch. I can almost hear her now: “My power…my power is MELTING.”

(Lest the reader think I’m merely engaging in demagoguery, I offer this empirical evidence: there’s a video making the rounds depicting Nancy Pelosi in her black robe and pointy black hat. It must be true—I saw it on the Internet.)

Speaking of the Black Arts, how about that Stimulus Plan? Talk about “voodoo economics”. The Democrats were obviously putting their faith in black magic when they gambled on that one. And they no doubt employed alchemy to concoct that mysterious, esoteric Health Care Reform legislation they finally came up with. Remember, all the uninitiated would be denied gnosis until the bill was irrevocably enacted into law first. It’s ironic that the Party that promised “transparency” in governance is so caught up in its very opposite, the occult. The Grand Wizard himself, Obama, ascended to power by casting a spell on the American people. Thankfully, he’s lost his mojo and his spell is finally lifting despite the best efforts of his temple whores and sorcerers in the media to rekindle it.

It has long been rumored that Rahm Emanuel once made a pact with the devil to further his political career and has been demon-possessed ever since. That would go a long way toward explaining the effusive f-bombs and his thumbing his nose at some Republican during Obama’s Immaculation Ceremony. And the White House gnome and economic guru, Little Timmy Geithner, spends his days fiddling with his Ouija board and I Ching hexagrams. (Okay; I admit I made up this paragraph.)

In light of all this the case can be made that Congress is already infested with witches. What’s the harm in one more, especially if she’s a conservative?

In the Good Book there’s a strong connection between sorcery and idolatry. And what is the Democratic Party but one large coven of idolaters slavishly worshipping at the feet of their false god, The State? Animal sacrifice is verboten (thanks to a core Democrat constituency, PETA) so, instead, they sacrifice freedoms, the reputations and careers of political enemies, American traditions and Judeo-Christian values on their vile altar.

The covenant between government and sorcery is not unprecedented. Pharos’s Cabinet was peppered with witches, soothsayers, diviners and sorcerers. And how did that work out for him?

Looking at this Delaware issue more pragmatically and optimistically, O’Donnell has a lock on the all-important Wiccan vote. And perhaps she can make real inroads into the general electorate given the current pop culture fascination with werewolves and vampires. I bet at least half the population of Delaware has already gone over to the Dark Side. So I’m convinced the fans of True Blood and the “Twilight” series can be persuaded to vote for the Good Witch of the East, Christine.

And let’s not discount the “Testosterone Gap”. Christine O’Donnell can win big in Delaware because she’s one hot witch.

First there was the High Priestess herself, Nancy Pelosi, informing the people that before they could know what was in the omnibus healthcare bill, it would first have to be enacted into law. Presumably, only she and her cabalists were privy to that special knowledge. And even they hadn’t actually read the bill in the empirical sense. (In fairness, who has time to read a two thousand page tome?) So to the extent they knew anything at all about the proposed legislation, that knowledge must have been imparted in some paranormal fashion.

This new gnostic stance was foreshadowed by President Obama when he summarily condemned the Cambridge police in the aftermath of the Professor Gates controversy. While admitting that he didn’t know the facts, nonetheless he “knew” that the police had acted “stupidly”. Similarly, some Higher Power must have informed the president that ObamaCare would actually save money despite the CBO’s findings that continue to say otherwise.

And now Eric Holder, the Attorney General and top law enforcement official in the land, is bringing suit against the State of Arizona because of the “obvious” brutality of the illegal immigration bill which the governor signed into law recently. But when asked before the House Judiciary Committee if he had actually read the Arizona law, he sputtered and sheepishly admitted that he hadn’t—although, he quickly added, he had “skimmed it”. Again, one must conclude that some psychic power must have been invoked to inform his brilliant legal mind. As Aristotle puts it, “There was never a genius without a tincture of madness”.

(In fairness to the Attorney General, he has been very busy of late dealing with various “man-caused disasters” like the botched bomb event in Times Square.)

When pressed about whether he thought radical Islam was behind some of these recent terrorist attempts, Mr. Holder refused to say. Instead he performed an awkward and tortured dance around the rather straightforward question. It appears he’d rather endure a root canal than have to utter the phrase “radical Islam”. Either he’s severely repressed and delusional or he has access to some esoteric “knowledge” that belies common sense.

It would seem that in the Age of Obama governance by irrationality and special “revelation” is the new norm.

(Bobby Gibbs’ childish hijinks are not unprecedented. One is reminded of the Clinton White House staffers who, upon vacating the premises, removed all the “W” keys from White House keyboards. Oh well, kids will be kids.)

I don’t know what few words were written on Sarah Palin’s palms but, apparently, they were sufficient to allow her to speak for over an hour without a teleprompter. And, unlike our cerebral president, as far as I know, she never once mispronounced the word “corpse” (as in “Marine Corpse”).

Little Bobby Gibbs is by no means the only child in the Obama Administration. There’s Rahm “Potty Mouth” Emanuel who recently got hauled to the principal’s office for calling fellow liberals “retards”. Let’s not forget über genius and child prodigy, Little Timmy “The Skimper” Geithner—the only one smart enough to head the Treasury Department and avert the, then, impending economic meltdown—the wunderkind who’s still too young to shave but not too young to figure out how to cheat on his taxes. (Timmy’s fierce loyalty to Barry is noteworthy—kids stick together.) And there’s that troubled kid, Kevin “Perv” Jennings, School Safety Czar, with severe behavioral problems. One thug bully, Van “Red” Jones, actually managed to get himself expelled.

And then, of course, there’s the exemplar, Himself, our historic president, Barack “I’m The Prez” Obama, the first teenager to ever occupy the Oval Office. Young, impulsive Barack just couldn’t resist the temptation to diss the Supreme Court justices, sitting just feet away, during His State of the Union speech. (Unlike the nearly giddy Chuck Schumer, the justices were not amused.) Our impish president thought it would be good, “in your face” fun to punk the Republicans at their recent retreat in Baltimore. Barry O’s rampant narcissism is fueled by His addiction to watching Himself on TV (including a guest appearance on Leno where He, reminiscent of Rahm’s insensitivity, poked fun at mentally and physically-challenged Special Olympians.) The guy loves to hear Himself speak, and when He does—which is way too often—it’s usually about Himself. Like most juveniles, the churlish and petulant Barack seems to think He knows it all and bristles at any criticism or correction: “Hey, it’s not my fault—he (Bush) did it!” pouts POTUS. Like most teens (and nearly all liberals), Barry prefers to live in His own fantasyland, divorced from hard reality. And He loves to “mix it up” with other kids on the playground, like when He takes on Fox News or Rush Limbaugh. He’s a president that, like many punk kids—especially ones from Chicago—likes to “rumble”: “If they bring a knife to the fight, then we bring a gun”.

So our nation stumbles forward with the juveniles at the helm. Actually, given their malfeasance in handling the economy and national security matters, “juvenile delinquents” would be more apt.

After all, it’s evil human beings that, by the simple act of breathing, contribute CO2 to the witches’ brew known as greenhouse gasses. So let Algore (and his ilk) put his “money”—which would be substantial if his flim-flam scheme comes to fruition—where his carbon dioxide-spewing mouth is, as it were. Many of the global warming fanatics have, themselves, focused on population control as one means to reduce CO2 emissions worldwide. Eliminating, in one fell swoop, millions of dedicated alarmists, martyrs to a man willing to die for their cause, would go a long way toward mitigating this dire situation. True, mass suicide by all the world’s lefties would not completely halt the impending apocalypse; but, like all those lawyers at the bottom of the sea, it’s a good start. Still, this one sacred act would have a disproportional impact when you factor in the fact that these traffickers in fear are spewing a lot more hot air than the rest of us.

And it would put to rest for good any accusations of rank hypocrisy on the part of these sophisticated modern-day doomsayers. An added bonus would be ridding the world of the vapid and boorish mewing of the Hollywood Left.

Just a thought.

The IRS, hoping to improve its image, also unveiled its new public relations campaign centering on its new motto, “From each according to his abilities to each according to his needs”.

Thanks to the personal benevolence of President Obama, all individual needs will be assessed and met out of the revenues collected to insure parity in the name of fairness.

But maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the crackpot Brit. Last night the new drama V premiered on ABC. It’s the story of a race of Lizard People who come to Earth ostensibly as beautiful beings looking remarkably like and speaking like ordinary humans. And the good news is they come in peace! Their leader, Anna, looks more like a Milan fashion plate than the supreme commander of an advanced alien race.

What’s so amazing about this TV show is this: it’s a perfect metaphor for Obama’s cult of personality. It’s all there, the attractive yet somehow elusive, inscrutable Dear Leader (Anna/Obama) promising to unite the world, the V’s pledge to better humankind (including literally healing most known diseases, even swine flu), the universal Liberal disclaimer, “Don’t worry, we mean no harm”, a call for volunteerism (“Become a Peace Ambassador”), the emphasis on technology, particularly in the realm of imaging and communications, the not-so-subtle attempts to co-opt gaga journalists, laying down ground rules for interviews, indicating that they, the Vs, believe in free and open inquiry as long as the questions don’t produce any “negative energy”.

As the plot unfolds in the first episode, already there are signs that maybe the Vs are not quite as benign as they make themselves out to be. In fact, according the leader of an underground movement, they’re downright sinister; they’re slimy Lizard People intent on destroying the very Earth they supposedly came to save. The sleeper cell in New York hasn’t exactly organized any Tea Parties just yet; but these revolutionaries are banding together in secret, ever vigilant, knowing their freedom, their very way of life is being threatened by the winsome Anna with the seductive smile.

It’s hard to believe the same network that a few months ago treated us to a slick one-hour infomercial for ObamaCare—a ratings dud—is now premiering a drama which, wittingly or unwittingly, lays bare the true nature of Obama’s “magnanimity”. At least for those of us who have ears to hear.

Footnote: If you doubt this analysis is on the mark, consider this: The critics at the New York Times have already trashed the show.

It looks like Barack, the quintessential calculating politician, is hoping to placate both sides in the strategy debate by splitting the difference. General McChrystal wants 40,000 more troops; Code Pink wants zero. Hmmm … let’s see … I know! … how about 20,000? (Too bad there’s no Nobel Prize for mathematics—Barry would be a shoo-in.) One problem with this approach, however—besides losing the war, I mean—is that, rather than making everyone somewhat happy, you’re more likely to just piss everybody off.

Actually, there happens to be a third dog in this hunt. Fido, in this case, is named Joe. As in Biden. Ignoring General McChrystal’s expertise and counsel, the veep instead favors War-Lite, preferring to wage war remotely. Joe is very big on drones. Our friends, the Pakistanis, however, are not so big on drones or, as they call them, “executions without trial”. Thankfully, even Obama knows enough to just ignore Rover’s leg-humping.

The peaceniks love to deem the war in Afghanistan “another Vietnam”. These weak-kneed pinkos just love to toss around the term “quagmire”. Generally I don’t agree with crazy lefties. But they may have a point here. Mind you, this war needn’t be another Vietnam if we’d just listen to our generals. But with Colonel Barry and His lieutenants, Rahm and Axelrod, on the front lines, calling the shots from the trenches, who knows?

If only El Jeffe saw Al-Qaeda and the Taliban in the same paranoid way He views the menacing FoxNews, He might actually have a shot at defeating the bastards.

Madam Speaker has unveiled the latest iteration of Health Care Make-Over legislation. The slightly-creepy Alchemist of San Francisco, along with her apprentices, spent days cloistered in her dungeon behind closed doors carefully blending various ingredients, all from earlier versions of various legislative concoctions. The problem with this esoteric approach, however, is that all these ingredients—herbs, metals, humors, elemental substances—are all poisonous. Blend, stir, heat, distill, siphon, and infuse all you want— you’re never going to spin gold, even if you try to burn off the dross of deficit spending. Far from achieving the Philosopher’s Stone, this arcane enterprise will only end up yielding an unknown inscrutable substance that turns out to be deadly.

These so-called lawmakers remind me of a bunch of snot-nosed, giggly, unruly pre-schoolers playing with a jumbo Lego™ set. They keep fumbling and flailing the pieces as they test one component after another in a frenetic trial-and-error effort to force-fit everything together. Some of the other kids offer to help, suggesting some new approach. But the little Lego™ legionnaires just bluster and stop up their ears. (They should really learn to play nice and share.) Eventually, they somehow manage to construct some gangly, weird oddity. But the thing is ugly and unwieldy, lacking elegance and functionality. They keep trying—bless their pointed little heads—adding a piece here, substituting a piece there. But each time, the end result is bigger, uglier and more monstrous than before. By comparison, Doctor Frankenstein’s fabled creature looks like George Clooney gracing the cover of GQ. The teacher really needs to step in and take away their toys.

In other words, these little Demo-brats really need to scrap all these self-indulgent legislative perversions and just start over from scratch—hopefully this time with a little help from their Republican classmates who are a lot smarter.

Back in the seventies our planet faced a similar impending catastrophe of unimaginable magnitude. The clarion cry at that time warned of worldwide hunger and starvation. There were simply too many people to feed. The solution, according to the scientific “consensus” of the day, was population control. (I can imagine the eugenics crowd and abortionists practically salivating at the prospect of culling the Homo sapiens herd.) This underlying anti-life assumption, no doubt, appealed to the Left in general. The only possible way to limit the Earth’s population and avert a holocaust was to, naturally, marshal the forces of government—guided, of course, by elite enlightenment, all under the auspices of liberal good intentions.

Fast forward to the present. There’s still world hunger. But the situation has improved dramatically. Many of the pockets of hunger and malnutrition that remain exist, not in spite of, but because of governments. Many of the corrupt rogue regimes of African nations let the humanitarian food shipments rot on the docks, refusing to disburse the food and supplies to their people. And a lunatic like Kim Jong Very Ill lets his subjects literally starve to death while he funnels all his country’s resources into North Korea’s masturbatory nuclear arms program.

So that Third Horseman of the Apocalypse failed to show up on his black steed after all, in spite of all those Leftist soothsayers. And today there’s even more people populating the globe than there were in the 1970s. So which U.N. project turned things around? How did the governments of the world, in concert, turn back the relentless tide of imminent starvation?

Actually, most of the credit goes to one individual, an agronomist by the name of Norman Borlaug—he died just a month ago—who is considered the father of the Green Revolution (to be distinguished from today’s “green” environmental movement). He figured out a way to significantly increase the yield of wheat. His methods were later applied to rice production. It’s estimated that Mr. Borlaug single-handedly saved the lives of a billion people. (By comparison, Rachel Carlson merely caused the death of millions.) Not a bad legacy, Norm.

One inspired, motivated and creative scientist did more to mitigate world hunger than all the governments of the world combined. Their myopic vision, all their committees, summits, central planning and clumsy bureaucracies could never have matched the simple genius of this one man who, working freely, unconstrained by governmental meddling, transformed his world.

Democrats now propose to destroy the U.S. economy with their fatuous Crap And Tax legislation that won’t do diddly-squat to cool the globe but will go a long way toward the Left’s favorite project and real goal, the redistribution of wealth—and on such a grand scale!

To whatever slim extent global warming is a real problem—and more and more scientists doubt that it is—maybe we should remember Norman Borlaug’s example. Pelosi, Reid, Waxman, Markey, Boxer and Kerry notwithstanding, there just must be a better way.