There’s something poetic about a guy who secretly recorded a bunch of people falling for his own con.

Michael Cohen apparently thought it was a good idea to get on the phone with Tom Arnold, self-appointed #resistance leader and public appointed crazy person. In the call, he disavowed some of the charges he plead guilty to, among other sad musings.

NEW from @mrothfeld: Michael Cohen, in a recorded phone call w/actor Tom Arnold, disavowed responsibility for some of the crimes he pleaded guilty to, saying he hadn't evaded taxes and that a charge related to his home-equity line of credit was a "lie." https://t.co/BSKHxLMfUy

— Rebecca Ballhaus (@rebeccaballhaus) April 24, 2019

That’s kind of a problem isn’t it? Usually when you sign a plea deal, you aren’t supposed to go tell people that you falsely plead to crimes to avoid more charges.

Here are some excerpts.

“There is no tax evasion,” said Cohen on the call. “And the Heloc? I have an 18% loan-to-value on my home. How could there be a Heloc issue? How? Right?…It’s a lie.”

In the 36-minute recording, Messrs. Cohen and Arnold covered a range of issues, from the legal troubles of former Stormy Daniels attorney Michael Avenatti to Mr. Trump’s affinity for the leader of North Korea.

Mr. Arnold said he made the recording without Mr. Cohen’s knowledge. Mr. Cohen has himself surreptitiously recorded conversations. During a raid of his home, office and hotel room in April 2018, the Federal Bureau of Investigation seized recordings the lawyer made while talking to journalists, political allies, and others, including Mr. Trump. During the call last month, Mr. Arnold praised Mr. Cohen for standing against the president. “You are a hero and you’re not alone,” Mr. Arnold said. –Wall Street Journal

Cohen tells Arnold he pleaded guilty in AUgust because “they had me on campaign finance,” while prosecutors were also targeting his wife – whose name some of the $2.4 million in interest payments he received from loans was deposited, New York federal prosecutors wrote in a court filing.

“I love this woman, and I am not going to let her get dragged into the mud of this crap,” said Cohen. “And I never thought the judge was going to throw a three-year fricking sentence.”

What’s so ironic is that they didn’t actually have him on campaign finance. Not as a certainty at least. It was his Clinton crony lawyer who had him plead to things that probably weren’t even crimes in exchange for what ended up being a three year prison sentence. The sentencing recommendations weren’t a secret. Even before he plead out, it was widely reported he was going to get at least 3-5 years at a minimum. Given that Cohen is a lawyer himself, he should have been smarter, but obviously, Lanny Davis scammed this guy hard to make him a pawn for revenge on behalf of Hillary Clinton.

Cohen goes on to do some whining about his current situation.

“You would think that you would have folks, you know, stepping up and saying, ‘You know what, this guy’s lost everything,’” Cohen told Arnold during the call. “My family’s happiness, and my law license,” he continued, “I lost my business…my insurance, my bank accounts, all for what? All for what? Because Trump, you know, had an affair with a porn star? That’s really what this is about.”

Oddly enough, Cohen manages to hit on the truth here. The entire ordeal was simply about Trump having an affair 11 years ago. That’s why prosecutors let him plead out on campaign finance violations that are rarely even charged instead of going after him on the much more serious crimes he was accused of (more tax issues, taxi medallion scam, etc.). Cohen’s prosecution was in fact mostly political but how he handled it is completely on him.

In August, Cohen pleaded guilty to a wide variety of mostly financial crimes, telling a judge at his December sentencing “I take full responsibility for each act that I pled guilty to.“

Well, so much for that. I doubt the judge cares much at this point but it certainly won’t help the case for a reduced sentence he’s been making lately.

You can’t feel sorry for Cohen. If he really believed he was innocent of the major charges, he could have hired a real lawyer and put up a real defense against some very shaky campaign finance accusations. Instead, he ran into the arms of a Clinton fixer and decided he’d rather place his life in the hands of House Democrats, with delusional hopes they’d help him stay out of prison.

Do stupid things, win stupid prizes.