So I was cruising Fark today (yes, FARK, I like it so get over it) and I found yet another news medium taking a “BOLD, FRESH LOOK(!)” at the War on Terror:

Neat, right? Egad. NEXT.

Alas, I’m not the kind of girl who can resist such sweet, dirty temptation. I put on my writing pants (horrid grey sweatpants with writers-block and frustration-induced holes all over), poured a glass of chocolate milk, and clicked my way to the actual article:

Learning to Live with Radical Islam

I nearly made it through without finding something to complain about. I found a way to disregard the bizarre caricatures of “good” Muslims and the simpering comments about our military, and the “but…but…BUSH” kvetching—it was nothing I hadn’t anticipated, so I wasn’t about to get cosmic over a left-leaning snark or two.

Then, roundabout the middle of the third page, the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand up. I’ve learned to trust those hairs; they’ve saved me countless times, including the time they compelled me to literally run down a cop car to get away from a man who made me irrationally terrified. (Later, I found out he had brutally attacked a few other girls on Purdue’s campus, including my future roommate. I have faith in the hairs.) My own emphasis:

Beyond Afghanistan, too, it is crucial that we adopt a more sophisticated strategy toward radical Islam. This should come naturally to President Obama, who spoke often on the campaign trail of the need for just such a differentiated approach toward Muslim countries. Even the Washington Institute, a think tank often associated with conservatives, appears onboard. It is issuing a report this week that recommends, among other points, that the United States use more “nuanced, noncombative rhetoric” that avoids sweeping declarations like “war on terror,” “global insurgency,” even “the Muslim world.”

That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. We’re so drunk on politically correct koolaid that we can’t even use the word “terror” anymore.

More warm fuzzies:

We should mount a spirited defense of our views and values. We should pursue aggressively policies that will make these values succeed. Such efforts are often difficult and take time—rebuilding state structures, providing secular education, reducing corruption—but we should help societies making these efforts.

Maybe their politicians (now with less corruption!!!) will pay their taxes? I’m not sure. Let’s hold hands anyway, and channel some “spirited defense!”

The straw that ripped an extra big hole in my writing pants:

We can better pursue our values if we recognize the local and cultural context, and appreciate that people want to find their own balance between freedom and order, liberty and license.

My translation? “We can better pursue our values if we put them in the context of those of rapists and murderers (OHMIGOD DID SHE CALL ALL MUSLIMS RAPISTS??? No, I did not), and appreciate that these people will find their own balance between reason and insanity.”

Mr. Zakaria brought his article to a close by assuring us that the comforting and accommodating nature of our own “world view” would eventually put this whole “Islamist” fad to bed for good, right alongside parachute pants and fishnet stockings. Thanks, Z, I feel better knowing that the terrorists will give up once they understand that we’re not really interested, thankyouverymuch.

(Mmm hmm… My poor writing pants; I’m teetering on the cusp of a catastrophic wardrobe malfunction.)

I’d use the word “sneaky” to describe the vibes that radiate from this article. It has an air of legitimacy to it, coming largely from the calm presentation of information leading to a seemingly rational conclusion. Only when you pay attention to the words on the page (don’t just hear…listen) do you realize that you’re once again being spirited away down the primrose path.

In a way, it reminds me of how Obama operates.

This whole mess is nothing new to those of us who haven’t rocketed ourselves into orbit alongside President Obama and his court of jesters, but it can serve as a reminder to what we’re all about, and why we keep fighting. The liberal philosophy regarding the War on TERROR (terror terror terror terror terror TERROR) looks a lot like my writing pants: tired, dirty, and full of holes.

We know better than to believe this garbage. I just hope it doesn’t take another tragedy to remind the rest of the American people that they, too, know better than to hold hands with the enemy and hope that things work themselves out.