Oh, boy. Here we go…

In 1976, George Lucas released his monstrous creation Star Wars, which grew into a multibillion-dollar love affair for (mostly) boys of the 70’s and 80’s and, in many cases, their sons.

However, since purchasing Lucasfilm — the studio which owns the mammoth movie franchise — Disney hasn’t been content to leave it alone. Instead of letting the world of galactic heroes and villains flourish as imagined by Lucas, the Mouse has applied its sociopolitical agenda, immediately canonizing the series’ first gay character, then choosing two girls (Rey, The Force Awakens; Jyn Erso, Rogue One) and a woman (Vice Admiral Amilyn, The Last Jedi) to lead the rebellion in two different story threads, followed by co-writers of Rogue One characterizing the fight against the Empire as a battle of women of color against white supremacy. And now…

Gay Lando.

Remember Lando? Han’s “old friend?” That cool guy from the malt liquor commercials? With the cape? Back in 1980? Well, you didn’t know it, but he was a Friend of Dorothy.

According to a HuffPost write-up on the soon-to-open Solo: A Star Wars Story, which spins the origin tale of the Republic’s favorite bad boy:

“Lando’s sexual preferences ― possibly including men, women and droids ― are the subject of more than a few lines of dialogue in Solo.”

Just let it settle.

I’ll wait…

Ready?

Okay:

The article goes on to say:

“For example, the banter between Lando and Han Solo has been interpreted as flirting by some critics who have seen the film before its May 25 release.”

👀🌈✨👀🌈✨👀🌈✨MY BODY CANNOT HANDLE THE SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN HAN AND LANDO 👀🌈✨👀🌈✨👀🌈✨ pic.twitter.com/qgFZ639WPe

— MJ Franklin (@heyitsfranklin2) April 9, 2018

Lando to Han: "You might want to buckle up, baby"
Me: *indiscernible homosexual screeching* pic.twitter.com/PyW4CRzlby

— MJ Franklin (@heyitsfranklin2) April 9, 2018

And then there’s this:

“Even Lando’s droid L3-37…makes a joke about Calrissian’s teasing dynamic with Han in the film.”

And:

“Lando might have romantic feelings for his droid too.”

And perhaps most importantly:

“So, given the opportunity to speak with father-and-son Solo co-writers Lawrence and Jonathan Kasdan, I asked them about Lando’s possible sexual fluidity. Is he pansexual?

“’I would say yes,’ Jonathan Kasdan emphatically said.

“’There’s a fluidity to Donald and Billy Dee’s [portrayal of Lando’s] sexuality,’ Kasdan continued. ‘I mean, I would have loved to have gotten a more explicitly LGBT character into this movie. I think it’s time, certainly, for that, and I love the fluidity ― sort of the spectrum of sexuality that Donald appeals to and that droids are a part of.'”

I doubt that’s what Billy Dee Williams was going for. He doesn’t seem like that kind of guy–

Of course, HuffPost doesn’t flinch. In fact, it claims:

“Some fans are rooting for a relationship between Finn (John Boyega) and Poe (Oscar Isaac) — a Force Awakens and Last Jedi ship lovingly dubbed FinnPoe — but that pairing looks less likely after the most recent movie.”

Hmmm…define “some.”

Regardless, you can judge for yourself May 25th. Unless you decide to sit this one out. But whether you put on your popcorn-eatin’ shoes or stay home and watch Still Breathing on Hulu Plus (an activity I heartily endorse), in a cineplex not so far, far away, on the fourth weekend in May, moviegoers will be sitting on the edge of their seats as the screen flickers with an absolutely preposter–

oh, wait — maybe it isn’t so far fetched at all…

For another great piece on Hollywood and its political activism, go to this article about Amy Schumer. It’s absolutely what you want to do. (Jedi mind trick)

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