I’m leaving again of my accord. I really want to stop being a douche, but it’s hard. I’m addicted. It’s just like my addiction to Pokemon fanfic. I lost my dog to that.

Look. Nobody is perfect. Especially not me. Not even McDreamy. I just can’t quit you!

So here’s the deal. I’m going to TRY to stay away undouchily. I may relapse. But if I do, know this. My deep inner self loves you and wants to be with you. Well … you and some filthy, filthy pokemons with low self-esteem.

Anyway. That’s where we are. Nobody has closed my account. I accept that. I’ll do my best to stay away voluntarily. But IF occasionally I end up posting, I beg you to remind me what a douche I am. Please?

I’ve recently been trying to close an account here at Redstate.com. It’s not been a very active account. I’ve not posted frequently and decided this forum is not a particular good fit for me. I’m sure everyone here has been in a similar boat. You joined a group, signed up for a list, dropped you business card in a fishbowl at a convention and later wished you hadn’t. And you wish to sever you ties from that group or fishbowl.

I’ve learned from past experience that it’s better to close an unneeded account than to have it sitting around collecting dust. All sorts of mischief can be had from old un-used accounts. And once it starts it can be really difficult to stop.

To that end I tried to close the account. On every other forum, blog, listserv, bbs etc I’ve ever been a part of closing an account has not been very complicated. Now days it’s usually as simple as going to your profile section and closing the account. There may be a couple questions about why you are closing it but it’s pretty painless. Even in the bad old days of the internet (mid to late 90′s) all it took was an e-mail (or two).

My first attempts were to e-mail the contact address. I did that over the course of months. Not with any great regularity but when I thought about it, I’d ask. Never received a reply.

I did occasionally continue to post during this time so I can understand the admin’s confusion. Why would this account post if it wanted it closed?

So recently I e-mailed daily for a week or so. Again, no account closure, no reply.

I was left with posting to the forum. I’ve only posted in open threads. I’ve politely asked to have the account closed. I’ve given my reasons why though I would think simply wanting the account closed would be enough. When I’ve been asked about it I’ve replied politely. The exception to that is when it’s been suggested that I actively try to get banned by breaking the “rules”. I’ve been a bit curt with those suggestions at times.

I understand I could instantly be banned for dropping the f-bomb, using the n-word, invoking HWSNBN but I chose not to because it’s crass and childish.

Instead I’ve politely and respectfully asked the account be closed. I’ve been told by at least one admin it can be done. I’ve not been given a reason why it’s not. I honestly don’t know why it’s not been done.

It’s been suggested that I’m asking for account closure because I wish to “scrub” my posts from this forum. I’ve pointedly and specifically responded that I’m not interested in what happens to any old posts. I don’t know how I can make that point anymore clear.

And believe me that every post after the first has been done with some hesitation. I’m not out to tick anyone off. I’m not interested in a game of “one up’s manship”. If that was the case I would thread jack, mindlessly post over and over or call out an admin.

So now I’m left with posting a diary. This is not fun, though it’s not hard. I’ve simply run out of options.

If anyone has suggestions about how I can get this account closed but would rather not reply here (it’s understandable), you can e-mail me at redstate2009@gmail.com

Thanks